Dhan Te Nan...!!

I have had an amazing weekend. And thanks to an unrelenting downpour & an auto strike, there's no way to get to work today. I'm not sure how happy I am about it since I do begin to miss my college if the weekend extends beyond the usual two days. But well, yes, I am a little happy nonetheless!
So, firstly, please please please watch Kaminey. Finally a Bollywood movie which comes close to being 'different'. Fast paced, good songs, and quite a diversity of characters. Especially in the end when they all come together. Nice!
That apart, since RG was at home this weekend (he's finally done with his Medicine posting), we caught up on alot of things and Ma cooked all his favourite food ;) Saturday, maamu & his family came over for dinner. We all sat at the dining table, with lots of papads, popcorn, sprout salad, seekh-kebabas, and something to drink for everyone. Then began the characteristic singing activity, with (but ofcourse) maamu taking the lead. He & Ma sang many bhajans and Ghalib's prose (?). It gets really funny because they get these looks of professional singers on their faces, and add some emotion to it too, and just about manage to hold the tune! My maami is the only one who can sing in our family, but the rest are definitely not lacking in enthusiasm. RG recited some lines by Keats. He then had to recite them again three times since ma & maamu found them to be too profound and hence needed some time to figure out what Keats could have possibly been trying to convey. Dinner was good too, except everyone was already full with the snacks... And once the clock struck 11 P.M , ma began initiating the goodbyes which in typical Indian way carried on till atleast 11.30!
Sunday was spent shopping - for spectacles. All four of us in the family wear glasses. So they form a large part of our annual investments. Since this was the independence day weekend, about half a dozen places were offering some really good deals, so we decided to check them out. Surprisingly we managed to get ourselves something of our liking, all in one day! I finally gave in and bought a rimless frame - it has taken me months to get around to this, but seeing how the matrimony market functions, it's time we played by the rules. Although I still don't get it. Wearing specs is not a disease. And who doesn't wear them today? And please, don't even begin talking about contacts - I don't understand society's obsession with them. Actually I just can't buy how people are ready to confirm to common ideas of what looks good (in this case). And they propogate it in such a matter-of-fact way that I don't even think they realise that they are espousing views that they hold just to be a part of the collective.
Everyone has to dress the same, talk in the same way, behave in the same way, look the same - someone please tell me why. On second thoughts, don't.

...Hindustani naam hamara hai...

Happy 62nd independence day! It is going to rain today. Atleast there's one FM station playing songs to suit the mood. So you can taste a little bit of A.R.Rahman's 'maa tujhe salaam' for starters ...

A R Rehman - Maa T...

I remember talking to the lambu yesterday about why eventually I would like to settle down in India. Sure there are plenty of moments when this country/city drives me insane. The States presents the exact opposite in terms of conveniences, infrastructure and I suppose even a better civic sense. Those could be sufficient conditions for a good life but I don't feel they are the always the necessary ones.

How free are we today? We've come a long way since 1947. But as MG said, every freedom also requires some discipline. Possibly we're not as disciplined? (More on this later.)

Anyhow, I like it how 15th August reminds me of reasons why I love being in this country.

The sounds of ghunghroos, of a shehnai, of a koel...

the crowds that make the country work (and sometimes get in the way!)

the colours - reds & oranges for every festival and weddings... And the palette you get to witness in places like Rajasthan.

the emotions - for everything ranging from cricket to politics to religion

the plethore of sights, traditions, festivals, seasons, history - how for almost everything there's a celebration bringing together dozens of extended family members. I like the kites that dot the skies today. The best part is that everyone participates, irrespective of the size of their bank account. The size of sweet boxes and kites might differ, but they are there all the same.

Yeh Jo Des Hai Ter...

Aug'15th brings the same feelings I get every time I see an army truck, every time I pass by India Gate, every time I hear my most favourite independence-related song - "ae mere pyare watan..."

Ae Mere Pyaare Wat...

I remember how at school, every independence day they would recite Tagore's famous words -

Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Today does something to my insides. I can't really express it. I can only feel it. And so, from our country, Happy 15th August to you.

(Late) aao, khao, piyo, khisko

It was written that I meet lambu engineer today. Honestly. Considering that till last evening I was contemplating flying out to Bangalore.
A little bit of history is in order. I met the lambu several years back. I don't know which/who I remember more fondly - the big box of chocolates, the person who sent them, or the lambu who got them! However some things about him stood out even then, just as they do today. Firstly (and obviously) the height. Secondly the non-stop chatter (mostly self-praise). Thirdly an awsome sense of humour/wit. And the ruthless teasing. (We can leave out the brains for now.)
Oh and well, he's never ever on time. Never. Not then, not now.
He's also very rude. And one shouldn't try to be nice to him because it just goes waste.

Anyhow, so, after changing the time and venue a several hundred times, his highness made an entrance late in the afternoon, for lunch. We had a mini debate about whether or not I would finance his alcohol (you see, I'm the employed one here.). Thankfully they didn't serve alcohol in the area we were sitting at. He obliged me by ordering the starters. For main course (trust him) we had butter chicken & naan. There's nothing wrong with that. Except I am always reminded of this one conversation I had with D, where we both agreed that this particular food should only be eaten at home, in your night clothes because it's impossible to eat it without everything getting messy. Which was pretty much what happened - atleast to me.
What did we talk about? Well work/studies. Pros and cons of living in the States. And the usual friendly banter (if I can call it that).
Oh, and either he has shrunk or I have become taller ;)

15th Aug @ College

All through my school and university years I never ever understood what the Independence Day celebrations were meant to signify. I remember having to stand through seemingly endless morning assemblies at school. The numerous speeches about the freedom struggle, Gandhiji etc. year after year would just seem so boring. It felt as though people couldn't get enough of preaching to us. Later, in University I don't think I attended a single Independence Day celebration.
All that changed last year, once I began teaching. Maybe it's because being on other side of the classroom brings you closer to some of the action. I like it how the flag pole is draped in garlands of Marigold flowers. And how the rose petals fall through as the flag unfurls. (In school I recall how the flag would get stuck and just not unfurl!) Standing erect for the national anthem. But more than that, it's this one feeling I've experienced only at LSR - a place which truly celebrates freedom. Where every 'speech' is geared to appeal to the sensibilites of both, the students & teachers - both primarily women. I'm proud of how the NCC cadets occupy a place of pride at the flag hoisting ceremony. I find it almost freaky when the indian music society sing 'bharat humko jaan se pyaara hai' and I can feel goosebumps right down to my toes.



Where I can see every single traditional dance from the country and yet not get enough of the diversity. Where my eyes well up with tears when they play the NDTV movie 'Remembering Kargil'. And where I can scream, shout, hoot and clap along with the students as I see a slideshow of images (Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire - Meera Kumar the country's first LS speaker - the solar eclispe - Abhinav Bindra's Gold at the Olympics - pictures of rural empowerment etc) set to the tune of A.R.Rahman's 'Ma tujhe salaam'.

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(The video's beautiful too.)

Those two hours of assembly stayed with me all day long. I felt proud, of being a woman in my country today.
P.S. went to CP later with JS. Did shopping. Ate chowmein. Got a call from lambu engineer, he's in town. Might meet up tomorrow.

Happy-10-years!

Apparently it's been ten years since blogging first began. Given that we get three newspapers at home, it's only natural that I discovered this bit of info. So, LiveMint is carrying out a series of articles regarding the same. The second one can be found here. Check their website for the other two, tomorrow and the day after.

Tip tip tip tip baarish!!

It has rained!!! :D

Yesterday my students didn't want class because it was too hot. And today, because it was raining! Lucky for them they know my weakness for the monsoon! But jokes apart, we did have class... the way DU college are constructed there are plenty of windows and wide doors through which the rain comes pouring right into the class....sweet sweet sweet!

Didn't want to let the rains go to waste, soooo...got drenched....when the salwaar gets stuck to your ankles, and little bits of sand enter the sandals, and the water drips from the edges of the umbrella onto the bags and books and self....If I didn't have the books & papers, I would have dispensed with the umbrella entirely!

Rains remind me of several things. The way we would run away from the auditorium (Choreo practice) into the HC lawns at DU. How pleasant the Shahjahan-Aurangzeb Road stretch looks (bus route 621) with its neem trees forming the prettiest of canopye across the two sides of the road. And how romantic JNU is when it rains :)

At the end of it all, I like the warmth that comes when you change into a fresh dry pair of clothes.

Munda(n)e

So, I think I've blogged about the monsoons having arrived about three times in the past. Well guess what, they are still not here. Today has been exceptionally bad. It was unbearably hot and humid. It completely drains you out. I had to drink 2 glasses of neembu-pani and 2 glasses of juice before going to take my first lecture. And the traffic just makes everything worse. It took me 45 mins to cover a distance of 7 kms... the only record that tops this one was two weeks back when it took me 2 hours.
We are going to be in big big trouble if things continue this way. There are water shortages and power failures all over the place. Worse, and more importantly, agriculture is in a crisis mode. To be fair, the agrarian crisis as of today was a disaster waiting to happen. With the pulling back of the State, over the past 10-15 yrs, on all accounts - subsidies, minimum support prices, credit etc - this year's lack of rains has aggravated the problem to a level where people have (finally) begun talking about it in their homes.
The swine flu has struck closer to home. Yesterday a girl from RG's batch of interns at his med school was hospitalised with possible symptoms of the s'flu. RG himself has been unwell this week. We've asked him to commute to the hospital from home for a while. The hospital, and a government one at that, would be the perfect place to catch the infection - the wards, the corridors, or even just his friends - everyone's associated with the same, high, density of people... We had been planning a family getaway to Lansdowne since it's going to be a three day weekend. That plan might just have to be abandoned now...

Allah Tero Naam

I was lying in bed today morning, soaking in the orange-yellow hues splayed across the walls of my room as the morning sun flitered through the curtains on the windows. I felt strangely at peace. And content. I began humming one of my favourite prayer songs - Allah tero naam.


(For an english translation, visit http://sacred-songs.blogspot.com/2007/06/allah-tero-naam.html)

I've never been a very religious person, a fact that can make it difficult to understand the religious fervour I often get to see in my country. I don't go temples unless I absolutely must (read pressure from Ma). And even then I prefer going to the ones which are the least crowded (In Delhi, just two - Birla Mandir, and Sai Baba's). I don't keep fasts. I don't even know the names and stories of all the Gods & Godesses we have - but I do know Lord Krishna is my favourite, and for me that's enough. I suppose it has to do with the atmosphere at home - my parents do believe in a God, and in doing good things and in staying honest. But it ends there. We've always had very very few rituals, ceremonies etc taking place at home. Somewhere science seems to have won over religion - something which Ma strives hard to correct, but we have a very long way to go. At the same time I find myself more open to the idea of going to the Ashram now than ever before. Considering Ma's side of the family has been involved with it since forever, you could say it's high time!

It took me a long time just to even acknowledge my faith in something/someone akin to God. Till I was at DU I felt that whatever happens to me is because of me, because of the choices I make for myself, the hardwork I do or do not put in. I still believe that. What has changed however is my acceptance of the fact that sometimes inspite of everything that I might think I control, things don't go my way - they turn out to be better or well, worse. In hindsight however I have always felt that what I had thought was the 'worse' was actually the 'better'. The need for faith also arises when I think of those times when I just could not understand why certain things happened the way they did - my accident, the surgery going wrong, the episode with C, the current nonsensical arranged marriage process, why AB's boyfriend had to die.....- and it is during those moments that the only thing I can do is to leave it all to someone/something else.

I don't know what prompted this blog. Maybe it's just having too many thoughts & ideas in my head about the kind of life I see for myself - and believing that there's nothing wrong with having all those ideas, and that it will work out when the time is right.

Slow saturday

This one's turning out to be a slow lazy saturday. I have the house to myself. The radio is playing the newest bollywood songs. I might add I really like Love Aajkal's 'aahoo aahoo...' (!) - complete punjabi masti with it's lyrics & beats. So much so that I couldn't resist dancing to it in the drawing room! Had (indian) Chinese for breakfast. Still wondering what to drink since I seem to have run out of key ingredients to make myself either a cold coffee or a glass of chocolate milk. Don't feel like going through today's newspapers at the moment. So that's been put off until later. Ditto for going through the half dozen books I borrowed from the library yesterday. Being a faculty entitles us to ten library cards - boy do I feel empowered! Procrastination seems to set in so easily on a weekend, and I am not going to fight it.

P.S. RG's rakhi from our cousins in the States arrived yesterday. A nice festive thaali, with the rakhi, tika and a small box of sweets! Booked online from California, order placed to Bombay, sweets would have had to come from Delhi...Where would we be without the wonders of globalisation?

gaane...

Been humming two songs all week long. After a very long time, Dire Straits' Romeo & Juliet - I won't get into which lines are my favourite since it's practically every single word! The other one is 'Used To' by Chris Daughtry (of American Idol fame...). Discovered it on the i-pod, and it's quite...hummable.

The day that was...

It's the day after Rakhi, and all day I have been genuinely feeling that we Need a holiday the day After the festival. Seriously! It's not a 'want', it's a basic 'need'. Or we just need to change the way we celebrate festivals in (atleast) this city. And RG still owes me....!

Anyhow, back to yesterday. Woke up super early. Got ready. Realised that the new kurta was wearable (can be altered later!) but the salwaar was big. Still wore it though :) Put the sweets etc in different bags. Also packed some of RG's things for the hostel. Tried charging the cellphone as much as was possible. Picked up all the stuff, got into the car, and we began to drive to my Baba's house. On the way I realised I had forgotten the Rakhis at home!! I did kick myself, as much as was possible. I mean, no one does that! Not if you're the sister and you have something like ten brothers to tie rakhis to!!! Turning back was not an option, given the extra insane traffic on a festival like this one.

So we snaked our way from south delhi to north-west. Took about 2 hours. Spent an hour Bua's house. Then it took us another half an hour to my taiji's house, where again we spent about an hour. And then another 30 mins to finally reach baba's house, where we spent 30 mins. At every house we had to drink water, then drink soft drinks/tea, and then eat sweets along with aaloo-puri, or aaloo-chhole. Trust me, even though the women in our family are excellent cooks, it was pleasant only the first time. Oh, as for my cousin brothers, well for once I really wish they would take the initiative and get me something nice! I mean, it's not bad to get the money, but getting a present has a totally different kind of charm to it. (and not a present that their mothers' pick for me - things I can never ever wear/use!). Got lots of chocolate hampers though :D

From north-west dilli, we moved towards the hospital. Another 1.5 hours on the road and not a single nice song on the radio. At the hosp, RG had just gotten off duty, so half an hour later, we finally set out for naani's house - another 45 mins! I entered their house, and crashed on the bed in an AC room. I felt tired and all ickky in the hot weather. Amazing lunch (again aaloo-puri) awaited us. After which other distant relatives began arriving. RG was pretty generous this year round, atleast to L! More than even what maamu was to ma! Lol!! We stayed there for dinner and watched 'Step-Up 2' and 'Confessions of a shopaholic' (the guy in it is so cuuute!)- yes, chick flicks I know, but my brain by then could only process those. Left at 9 P.M, reached home at 11. Only to realise I started with classes in the morning today, and not the afternoon as I had thought. As if that was not enough, I also realised that the 3-day weekend I'd been looking forward to is the next weekend, not this one. You cannot imagine the degree to which my mood plummetted then.

Woke up today morning, grumbling all the while about the uselessness of having tutorials in the first half of the day! (Ma & papa conveniently ignored me!). I was tired all day at college. Sleepy too. And I had to prepare the lectures too. Managed somehow. Plus it was JS' birthday, how could I not have known?! Arranged for a little something for her from all of us in the dept. I've also been missing prag and nam, now that they've moved to other colleges....

Oh, and yesterday, after ages, I spoke to S. He's started using terms of endearment while he talks to both P & me! Lol! Spoke to P today morning, and we decided it's best we enjoy it while it lasts!!

Phew...that's about it I think. To quote someone, I don't even know how I could punch in these, blame yourself for that :)

RakshBandhan 2009

Tomorrow is Rakshabhandhan, also known as just 'Rakhi'. It symbolises the bond between a brother and sister. It also, in some ways, marks the beginning of festivals which will go on till October or so.

As is our habit, we finished our shopping for sweets, cookies etc at 10 P.M. tonight. And as has become the norm, apparently so did everyone else! There was the usual mad rush of people and cars and cranky children in the markets, associated with any festival in this country. Plus women getting 'mehendi' (henna) designs made on their palms - can you imagine paying Rs.100 for each hand??! It's insane!

So I've stocked up the Rakhis. The markets have stalls lined with all kinds of rakhis - simple read & yellow threads, to all kinds of fancy ones which seem way too fancy! It's amazing how tomorrow morning, every man who has a sister will have one, or several threads tied around his wrist. Either before you leave home for work, or on your way to work, brothers and sisters meet up. The tying of a rakhi stands for a sister's prayer for her brother's long life as he promises to stand by her & take care of her.

Ofcourse it goes well beyond that. It's how all our relatives and their families meet at my grandfather's house. And how there are tons of sweets and hampers that are exchanged. The chaos and lunacy....and the torture brothers' put their sisters' through for that surprise 'present'! :D I can't think of a single time RG didn't BUG me (except for when we were very very little!). By the end of the day it's difficult not to get irked, seeing how he showers all of his cousin sisters with things and doesn't even utter a word about what he's got me!! Lol!!

Oh, and after several years, I have got myself something new to wear tomorrow! And yes, it's a chhutti (how can it not be, in an all-girls' college!).

And well, I am reminded of the song...'phoolon ka, taaron ka, sabka kehna hai..."!

August!!

August has begun! And hence, so have the festivals!! It's Rakhi later this week. Ma spoilt the surprise by telling RG what I was going to get him!!! So now I have to think of something else ;) Anyway for once (after many many years) I bought the rakhis in advance! But not the sweets, so there is still the last minute mandatory visit to the sweet-shops that we have to go through!
Watched The Hangover, it's such a riot! :D And another movie, 'Hamlet 2' which was weird but grows on you gradually! Plus the dept trip is coming up later this month, so more fun on the horizon. And the independence day weekend is also an extended one this year. I do like august!

"I have to meet a boy..."

Today is a friday. Today was also a day of festivities at college, with all the department having their Freshers' Welcome! All the first years were in various costumes and some really funny accessories! The themes varied from 'angels & demons' to 'Potter mania'. Our department saw its' freshers as book characters who had the seniors wildly guessing their identities! The usual song and dance routine followed, after which they said the stage was open for impromptu performance "including from the teachers" :D The next thing I heard were the typical LSR chants and hoots of 'S**** ma'am!! S**** ma'am...!!" Lol!! One of my students came up to me with a mic in hand for me to sing! I almost died! Only I know how shy I am when it comes to singing infront of anyone! But it felt good too, more so since it was least expected. I however did say something short and sweet to them, after which J sang two lines of a song! We made our way out after that ;)
Then NJM was asking us to stay till later in the evening for the union freshers' welcome. Everyone had their 'excuses' ready - kids at home, in-laws at home etc etc. I ofcourse don't fall in that cateogory. But somehow I was so exhausted that I just told her "I have to go meet a boy". That was followed by me being smothered with hugs & kisses from all of them! They wanted to know if he was coming to college, so all of them could 'meet' (interview) him :)
The boy has come and gone. Let's see what happens.
My nephew has also come over. He's all of 15 months, has just begun to walk, has wrecked our house and is an absolute darling!

Tired...

I can't wait for tomorrow, and the weekend that comes with it. This has been a very long week. Things are moving along slowly, which isn't bad really, but...

Mid-week monsoon traffic...any gift ideas?

तुम आये, बहार आई ...... would aptly sum up my parents' return to Delhi. We are now officially into the monsoon season. It rained all of yesterday afternoon, evening and night. Quite expectedly by late evening news channels were reporting the massive traffic jams all over the city. Drains have begun over flowing, the roads have begun sinking.... today morning it took me two hours to reach college from home! Two hours for 8 kms.... Insane!! But well, it's worth the pleasant weather and the chance to wear your hair down :)

Classes are going fine. This year's Freshers' welcome is coming up. Apparently so is a department trip :D AND so is rakshabandhan, that sweet sweet festival. I'm open to suggestions for a gift for RG....
I should go talk to M, apparently she's been stuck with a flooded house and no electricity since last night. Lol!

I have to take up Sen's capabilities approach in one of my classes tomorrow. Needless to say I have been super lazy this weekend. Which is probably why I find myself confused right now, about functionings and freedoms and capabilities. BUT I am not going to bed till I figure it out. It's there in my brain. I just need to be able to explain it to 40 other people....

RG's home today. Parents should be landing in another few hours. From tomorrow, it will be back to the normal home routine :p

Of Vamps & a "quirky character"

I dreamt of vampires and warewolves last night. Seriously weird. And a certain vamp at that. I mean, seriously, c'mon!! And it was one of those lengthy detailed dreams that stay with you even after you wake up. All morning I was thinking whether or not to tell M about it. I eventually did, when we met to bid adieu to the "quirky character", our dear K who took the plunge last year and is flying out tonight to the States for a PhD. We had coffee and the essential 'chocolate excess' - for the first time we couldn't finish it. Unbelievable, I know. I will miss K, and all his madness, his 'duuuude, veryyy nice', his frustration (?!) with JNU/the system....lol! I'm really happy for him though, if there's anyone who needed to get out of here, it's him.
So, back to the vamp-dream. M had a big solid laugh :D I have a feeling I haven't heard the end of this for some time to come. We then went to shop at Nalli where she convinced me to do loads of shopping....this, when I had planned to not pick a single thing (as if that was going to work, considering it's one of my favouritest stores.)

Tip tip tip tip baarish!

Even the Gods show mercy, eventually. And so it has rained in my part of the city. I absolutely love that geeli-mitti-ki-khushbu! I obviously couldn't resisit getting deliciously drenched in the downpour today. And am now enjoying a nice hot plate of pasta :)

Santushti in work...

For the past two weeks, we have been SO close to having monsoons, it's torture! Every morning the sky is thick with clouds. But by the time it's noon, the wind blows them away. The sun is strong and there's this unbearable humidity all day long. And seriously, in this country, you can't keep the AC switched on 24 X 7! I've been surviving on water and neembu-pani; the canteen bhaiyya makes amazing fresh lime soda!
Work is good. Preparing for the classes takes up most of the time, but honestly I don't mind! I think it almost serves as an escape route, to avoid thinking about other stuff. Although Prag & I did have a super long conversation yesterday, about faculty appointments in the Univ and the prospect of having to meet more random guys. It's funny how six months down the line we are so much more clear about what we are looking for in a life partner - and given the lack of change in mindsets of people here, I think we still have some time to ourselves. People's true colours really do come out once you begin interacting with them in this regard - all the s0-called 'exposure' and 'education' and 'liberalism' comes through. I shall not dwell more on this right now, since anyway the entire ordeal is going to restart from next week. Parents come home this sunday...
I think I've written previously too, about how much I love the college structures in this univ. It's a world away from the rest of the noise and etc.
A word on practically being baby-sat by my grandmother. I love my nani to pieces. But honestly, if I hear one more discourse on religious values; the degradation of morals in todays' youth; 'adjustments' required by girls once they get married; the amount of poisonous chemicals in every single thing that we eat; the amount of time we spend on computers; why non-veg food is bad for us etc etc etc...I will scream. I don't want to decide today, what we will eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner today & tomorrow. I don't want to discuss how the maids work in our house, since that pattern is a mutually acceptable one they, and we, have reached over a period of time. I don't want to change that pattern. I don't want to discuss why all the men I have met so far have been utterly disappointing. I just don't. And if this gets worse then I seriously will scream. I know she comes from a completely different time when things were very very different, but times have changed and all I can say is, move with the times. I am done with trying to keep up with her views and trying to reach a middle ground. I now know why Aa & La are the way they are....

The bad & the good...

The first weekend after the univ reopens is seriously very difficult. It's impossible to get into the study mode. I have watched movies, listened to the radio and eaten SO much food (all thanks to naani!) and conveniently slept. Add to that the fact that for no apparent reason I've been feeling totally and utterly miserable today. I just don't want to think about anything or anyone anymore. I wish I could just be alone for a bit, in a place where no one even knows my name. I actually broke down today evening. Just couldn't help it.
Later on I went through a friend's blog. उसने कुछ इतना ख़ास नहीं लिखा था, लेकिन पता नहीं क्यूँ, उसे पढ़ कर इतना अच्छा लगा....बहुत अच्छा...

Saw a dead body. On the road. run over by a blueline bus. The brain was all inside-out. It was horrible. I almost puked.

Back@work

The univ has reopened. The first two days have been light, work-wise! It's fun to see the Freshers finding their way about college! They are just swarming all over the place, trying to figure out their classes, ECAs, library (?), grounds and the cafe (!) ofcourse! And they are still shareef enough to wish random teachers in the corridors! Lol! Well that is certainly the last time they will be doing it!
Our dept timetable seems to be unsually skewed this time! Way too many tutorials in between lecs. I have a 3b this time, I taught them last year so it should be fine. I also have 2b, a class considered by some as pretty bad (= naughty!) !...well well, we shall see :D
I was also introduced to a recent grad from our dept, who happened to know me in a 'roundabout way' since she works at McKC. I didn't even bother asking through who! Thankfully I had to rush to the library at the time.
The weather's been strange. There are clouds but not enough for rain. There is wind, but the sun's too strong. And there's humidity. Ugh!

At Long last...

The univ reopens tomorrow. At Long Last. I think I would have gone positively insane if I had to wait for even one more day. Ofcourse the route will probably be a little difficult since the metro bridge and cranes collapsed bang opposite our college. But whatever...
I wish parents would hurry up and return. It's been odd, having to decide things about work & studieswithout them being around. No matter how many other people I've spoken to, and there have been quite a few, it's not the same sense of reassurance.
RG is also coming home tomorrow. Naani's been around since ma left, and for once I'm glad I wasn't left home alone.

The Proposal

I think M's on a spree to try to cheer me up! Which is awfully nice of her. So we went to watch The Proposal. It has decent bits of humour and sarcasm. And Alaska is just sooooooooo beautifullllll....omg! It's like remote raw untouched beauty. We were debating the various ways to get there ;)

Catching up...

I had a Rotten day yesterday. Considering which, today was s a double treat. M dropped by, by surprise. It must however be mentioned that she did have an ulterior motive - to get rid of 'certain' books in the 'hope' that 'i' would make 'use' of them! Lol! Anyway we discussed, amongst other things, 'Bill' from True Blood. I think for once we both found the same man Hot! Seriously hot!
Called up P for birthday wishes...
In the evening, met up with D. She did some shopping after which we went for some dinner -pizza. Our waiter was extra-caring! He did everything short of sitting down with us at the table! Lol! D & I talked about the same old brand new things...felt good :D

Update

Ma leaves for H**** today. Both the parents will return together in a few weeks. I'm sort of tired, with all the packing and shopping of the last few days. RG has come over. He needed to talk about the sad state of government hospitals in this country. You can only begin to imagine what it's like if you've been to one - on a recurring basis.
I was hoping to being home alone, but well they never let me be! Naani's coming tomorrow. For a while. Then we'll see.
Oh btw, today is UD's bday! Lol! RG reminded me enough to mention he finds it odd to speak to his younger cousins over the phone! Some things never change :)
And, I now have a little more respect for Rakhi than I did earlier. She can make some sense at times!
As for the rest, the two most pressing issues in my life right now, I am not worried! Seriously, what is wrong with me?!?!

New New new!!

I have got a plan :D
A Brand new, nice, workable plan :D [M knows! & approves!]
I am the happys!

The End

I am feeling seriously stupid right now. I can't believe I turn to the same person for comfort even now, and obviously comfort is the last thing I get. And yet I just refuse to learn the lesson.
However something tells me this was the absolute last time. As for the Irish proverbs, they stand for a point in time which has finally passed me by. And no, I don't want to be friends, Thank you very much. I deserve better. Much better.

Sweeeet Wimbledon'09

I was watching DDLJ after Years...then shifted to tennis....WHAT an Amazing mens' single wimbledon final it was! Roger Federer wins, beats Pete Sampras' record, that too in the most gripping 5th set match EVERRRRR!!!!! I mean, 16-14???!? It could kill you just to watch it on tv!!! Andy Roddick did make up for Nadal's absence, but well...I never really missed Nadal! Roddick does have a super serve but well, a serve doesn't make you the best!

Sweet Home Alabama

Well Well Well, bumped into C's mom at Anokhi today. I think in Harry Potter they say that there are always signs, which the mudbloods always miss. I really don't know how I feel about signs, but I've been getting quite a few of them over the past 3-4 days. And I don't like them because I don't know what on earth they mean!! Anyhow meeting C's mom wasn't all that bad, I mean she is rather sweet. One day I'd really like to tell her about everything...maybe.

I am now watching Sweet Home Alabama...for the n'th time. I'm so glad they're showing it this month! I just so love that movie! :) Especially when he asks her to marry him! "Pick one"...Awww...! And that look in Jake's eyes through out the movie....n the ending ofcourse... just *sigh* so *sigh* perfect *sigh*

Of shopping & moods...

Since yesterday I have been feeling a little low. This summer's been unusually long and testing. I am honestly exausted. Not physically, since I haven't been doing anything that taxing! But emotionally/mentally. It's just sickening, the way people think, especially since I know enough number of girls going through this process to know that it's not us who are being too demanding or fussy. Initially I felt a mix of anger and disgust at the kind of people I've had to interact with these past few months. Now I'd like to believe I've become uncomfortably numb. And wiser.

Anyway on a lighter note, went shopping today. What is it about shopping that just uplifts my mood? The markets, people, chaat/momos, traffic, rain.... To be honest, I'd planned to wait for the univ to reopen, but then couldn't resist! :p Even bought something for RG, who by the way is also going through some really anxious moments.... I think I'll go now, and speak to him!

rains and a bollywood song

The monsoons are finally upon us. I have gotten drenched twice, so far. I know there will be several more times in the days to come.
There's something about Delhi when it rains. It's as if the mood of the city changes. The roads become cleaner, the trees are greener, the air is cooler and the skies just so much more clear. It's also sweet how radio channels play the most amazing songs to match the season! My ALL time favourite is this quite-old-but-still-nice one....

सावना बरसे, तरसे दिल, क्यूँ ना निकले घर से दिल
बरखा में भी दिल प्यासा है , यह प्यार नहीं तो क्या है
देखो कैसा बेकरार, है भरे बाज़ार में
यार एक यार को इन्तज़ार में

M came for lunch yesterday. We had a usual catching up session. Talked and cribbed and laughed and planned....

Raindrops..

The monsoons have hit dilli! Yayyy! Not in full force, but they've begun. And the first shower began while I was out swimming today :) I love the pool. Reminds me of the pool at the Royal Hospital Rec-centre. And ofcourse reminds of a certain 'bet' about who swims faster! (Obviously that would be me!)
Anyway, I love rains, and delhi even more when it rains here. Everything's green and fresh and cool.
That apart, Rakhi's swayamvar began today, on tv. Caught the last 15 mins of the episode today. It was Such a Riot! Lol! The potential grooms are doing even more 'nautanki' than Rakhi has ever done! Too funny!

garmi-baarish

Trust UGC to make you spend the entire day in this terrible summer taking the stupidest possible exam, on a sunday. To add insult to injury, M so totally backed out of going there today. Lol!! She just sms'd, "make me proud" :) Ha Ha Ha...Like THAT's going to happen. we are so totally going back there in December...

I am hoping monsoons have hit Delhi. I cannot take another day of this weather. The AC feels like a fan, that's how hot it is. And really, How much water can you go on drinking?
Yet agaain I find the farsh to be the coolest ....except for the lizards!

garmi

If anyone needs any proof of global warming, please feel free to come to Delhi right now. It hasn't been this hot Ever. This is the beginning of a very long and awful summer. And that so doesn't help the mood.

Too much of anything can kill you. Even love.

A A A

There are people I've known for almost forever. Like the three A-women! And we're all in the Same boat! The exact ditto same boat. And we will be ok. We are not being irrational or too demanding. Oh, we are So not that!!!

Lambu engineer did his best to cheer me up today! Lol! The tweety worked :) Ofcourse 'rude' should be his middle name, but that can be overlooked for now!

July is almost upon us. And so will August. And then the stars will speak...or so we hope :)

on n on...

Parents are heading off to Hungary, later this week. I am looking forward to some alone time this time. Mainly because too many uncertainties are anyway floating about in my life right now - the job growth, the groom, the PhD. And yet it makes me wonder Why all these are so important in the first place.

I'd mentioned to L****** sometime back about wanting to buy a nice dress for myself! She'd been as taken aback as ma. However I did make the purchase, and it's the cutest thing ever...white and pink and floral! Lol! I have rediscovered, after eons, the fun of wearing something non-indian! Feels nice and girly! ;)

jaane de..!

By the way, we're out of the WT20! Lol!! For all the hype, and all the "aane de" ads, we are out of the tournament. Predictably, everyone's baying for MSD's blood. Which is something that should come to an end....it's high time we stopped behaving that way. They're all humans at the end of the day. And we are a nation of a billion plus who ourselves will not move a muscle except when it comes to criticising the cricket team, or going for religious yatras.

God, I'm just so pissed off with this country right now. Shit place, that's what it feels like.

hey bhagwaan...

Spoke to P a few days back. The two of us kept coming back to the same old topics of conversation, even though we tried our level best to avoid them!
Caught up with M yesterday. I don't think there's anyone more crazy than her that I know of! She was recounting her 'rosy days of love'! Lol!! I can't for the life of me imagine M blushing, giggling, stealing glances, acting demure.....?!?!!! I am still trying to imagine her doing all this, but sadly I fail ;)

That apart, the driving is on. I just don't think I should be though, considering I have so much of anger inside of me these days!
M was saying how she doesn't want to do anything... "no work, no studies..". I so agree with that. Infact I'm thinking maybe I should just go away for some time. Free time can kill you at times, but on some occassions it can make you see things for what they are, and how you would want them to be.....or whatever

www.freerice.com

Came across this site. Fun play! But I wonder, do they really donate rice?

some more...

“I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school.

They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous.

They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor.

They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer.

They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind.

They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying.

They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”

- Neil Gaiman

kuch gyaan

“I must learn to love the fool in me

the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances,

wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates,

hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

- Theodore Isaac Rubin

Tired..

After four days of family, relatives, sweets, ceremonies, music, dance, dressing up, and a weather that turned from being hot to rainy, my sister's wedding is over.

Spent all of yesterday just sleeping. And now that I've woken up, suddenly i'm feeling very hungry!

celebrations

So Federer has finallyyyyy won the French Open! Yayyy! I missed the match however, was at my cousin's engagement function! But I am so glad he won it...I suppose it was written :)

I was seriously missing M**** bua yesterday during the ceremonies. I didn't even miss her as much when bhaiyya got married, but yesterday was different. And I can't even imagine what S**** must have been going through. But she did look very pretty :)

There are some more small ceremonies lined up for today and tomorrow. The wedding's day after. One can get tired just thinking about it!

Fedex at the french '09

The Fedex has made it to the French open finals! Yayyy! :) And now hopefully, Finally, after years of agony and grief, he will conquer Roland Garros! Part of me still wishes it was a Nadal - Federer final, but what the heck! As long as Fed wins..... !

shanti...

I have been in full holiday mood for the past few weeks! There have been moments when I've been bored out of my mind, but overall I am so totally loving the feeling of not having to think about any kind of work at all! I wake up real late. Then shuffle my time between the TV, email and the newspaper...and food. Plus ma's at home, so we have loads to talk about. And the cousin's wedding is coming up, so obviously there's been shopping, and trips to the tailor and using an overdose of emotional blackmail to get him to stitch things in time for the various ceremonies!
On the Search front too things are in progress, so Obviously that gives us the most to talk about ;) The Search is one hell of a process though. It is a ज़ोर का झटका जो ज़ोर से लगता है. The unfortunate truth is that even in urban educated India, mindsets have Just Not Changed. However that apart, I have realised So many thing through this ugly and painful process, about myself and what I'm looking for in a partner...so that enlightenment feels good :) :)

old song, not so old meaning

कई बार यूँ भी देखा है
ये जो मन की सीमा रेखा है
मन तोड़ने लगता है
अनजानी प्यास के पीछे,
अनजानी आस के पीछे,
मन दौड़ने लगता है

Time to decide...

:) !!?!?

Crazy weekend! As in, Insane.
....
You held (your breath, and...) the door for me...

Am Off...

Two rights can make a wrong? Or is it the other way round?
Anyhow gtg pack for haridwar. We leave tonight. Back on 22nd. Tc!

Coming up...

Will be going to the haridwar ashram in a few days. There's the annual eye camp. Plus the Ganges, alongside which I plan to sit and understand myself.

I should however add that each time i've been there so far, i've returned with anything but sanity!

Irish proverbs - II

Wrong hindi
Childish pranks
BIG laugh :)

Fights with Dad
(my) fights with mom
Actually...my fights with anyone
Abusing

Nicknames
Ashram trips
Gifts
Reactions about gifts (!)

Standing tall
Observing
Cheating in basketball
Natural photographs :)

Teasing
Troubling
Advising

Common friends
for understanding
for being understood
for apologising
for caring
for getting updates

For multiple orkut testimonials! And the honesty therein.
For breaking rules.

Bad as I like ye, it's worse without ye.

Came across this Irish proverb. Which reminded of other Irish proverbs. That together with the latest name in TV ads and a sudden phonecall from K*** just did it.

"Mujhse nahin hoga"
Nakhrey
"I Don't Know"


Car rides
Shweta Pandit

The Love Story theme

Farewell(s)
Fests
Tamanna


Maggie

Chai without malaai

Treats
P**** ma'am's wedding

Dumbass

Dustbin

Brothers
Naanis


Irritating freaky jerk
Basketball
Ufff


Exams

CAT

Systems notes :)


Phone-calls

Phone-calls from office in the middle of the night shift



Spanish
French
Portugese


Hate messages

Surprise flowers

Surprise farewell

Hate mails

No answers forever

___

.....

I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. ~The Wonder Years

Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt. -Mary McLeod Bethune

A & A & me

Hmm...caught up with A&A at Saket today. Watched this very cute, very funny movie - My mom's new boyfriend :) Colin Hanks is So SO SO cuuute!! And he sounds exactly like his Dad did in Forest Gump! Anyway then had the usual girl talk session at the food court. I thought I was having the worst experience in the arranged marriage process, but apparently it gets worse! Lol! We then did some shopping, which in itself is becoming a difficult process since its a problem of plenty! And we did miss AB, big time - especially when we had to decide where and what to eat!!

And so another week ends...

New government, old stuff

Nayi sarkar mubarak ho. For whatever it's worth. The Congress has emerged as the single largest party, and the UPA will easily form the government. So much for L.K.Advani's dreams of becoming PM! Lalu's beat too. Apparently the weakest PM is not so weak.....
As for what they do now, that is anybody's guess...

On the Wall, Off the road..

Another one of Shekar Gupta's brilliantly insightful editorials in I.E. -
On the wall, off the road - 1
On the wall, off the road - 2

Flute...

Played my flute today. Had been wanting to, for a while now.
There's something about music that totally gives me a break from everything else. I loved reutrning to the familiarity of that instrument. I've been playing it since school. And I took out some really old music pieces which we would play at I** with Mr.P****. It felt great to be able to belt out some of those melodies

Kitni baatein...

Was Gtalking with P. We then decided it would be better to simply talk. So we did. Lol!! Goodness, we really are pretty mad even though somewhere we do like to think of ourselves as being sensible. We ARE paagal!

RR, you beauty!!

RR beat the MI by 2 runs!!! Omg! It was suchhh a sexy match!! Complete with our shrieks of ecstacy, and cries of agony, and frantic nail biting while moving from the sofa to crowding around the tv screen...! Oh what a win for them :) And don't you think S.Warne has become just so much more endearing now that he's older?! He def seems to be the best captain. We're hoping for a RR-DD final....however big-time loyalty issues might crop up then ;)

Dilli ke Daredevils

I know I wrote sometime back that the IPL has been rather non-happening this time. Well it's true. But what has been very happening is our very own Delhi Daredevils' team! Oh yes, we've been kicking some serious a**!! And I happen to think Daniel Vettori is just so so so cute! ;)

car sirens & stray dogs

It's almost 1 a.m. I've been trying to sleep for the past 40 mins. Every five minutes however, some stupid car's dumb security alarm has been going off. And I can bet it's because of those random crazy stray dogs that must be climbing over it. I do detest these alarms. I mean, the last thing you want to hear in the middle of the night is ten different kind of siren sounds. I'm pretty sure I've figured out the police van, the ambulance, the fire engine signals. There are lots left which are equally irritating. Ufff!

Why I love Alanis...

There's something about Alanis' songs which make you feel like you have every right to feel whatever it is that you're feeling. There's the very cute Head-over-feet for those very falling-in-love moments. There's Simple-Together for when you fall out of it. There's You-Learn (Jagged-Little-Pill) when life seems like crap. I suppose Ironic helps too. Then there's the one which I was singing yesterday, I'm-a-bitch-I'm-a-lover-I'm-a-child-I'm-a-mother-I'm-a-sinner-I'm-a-saint-I-do-not-feel-ashamed :D And then there's I-will-be-good, for when you're ready to make your peace with the world and the forces that be.

JNU Dhabas on FB

Just got to know from the mostly useless FB updates - They actually have a quiz called "Which dhaba in JNU should you run"!!!! :) :)

....

Celebrated ma's birthday today. Went out for dinner, and then for ice-cream to India Gate. God do I love that place. It's when I miss the 621 rides to HC the most.

Of requests on Fb...

I have alot of requests pending in my Fb account. From a hug, to birthday, to nicest person, to sweetest person, to which haircut I should get, to friends forever, a few pokes and a zillion green patch requests. However, my favourite one is the Last Dance request :) And it can only remind me of Abba's absoultely bestest song ever, (Baby) Give Me One Last Dance :)

What every woman should have, and know, by 30

This is another one of those forwarded emails which isn't too bad! It's often attributed to Maya Angelou (who has written some very nice poems), but it's actually an article by Pamela Redmond Satran.
As for me, having crossed 25, I suppose I'm getting there :)
____________________________________________________________________
By 30, you should have:
One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
A youth you’re content to move beyond.
A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
The belief that you deserve it.
A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know:
How to fall in love without losing yourself.
How you feel about having kids.
How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
When to try harder and when to walk away.
How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
How to take control of your own birthday.
That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
Why they say life begins at 30.

Twenty-something....

This was an email I got about a year back, from S**** @ TISS. It's the only forwarded email lying in my inbox, and I don't know the number of times I have re-read it..... So here it is, one more time.

"Being Twenty-Something"

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. (few words cut) Random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading it, relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out !!?

'And Then They Came for Me'

Past few weeks have been more than I could handle. Not that something horrendously terrible happened. But it was difficult for me.
Anyway so I was going through the new study that we've set up, and came across Ali's World. It was gifted to us by a common friend of our families, and today was the first time I read it entirely. I also read posthumous editorial which The Sunday Leader's ran of it's editor, Lasantha Wickramatunga ,- "And Then They Came For Me" - which appeared in the papers soon after he was assasinated. Again the newspaper cutting was lying on RG's desk and although I had read it earlier, it was all new to me.

So I know my problems are nothing compared to the hardships alot of people go through on a daily basis in this world But does that make my problems any less, for me?

Shut Up World

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.
Anyone who knows me would know just HOW much that makes me see RED.
I WISH TIME WOULD STOP, AND JUST LET ME BE. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY GODDAMN THING RIGHT NOW. I ESPECIALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FOLLOWING -
1. Marriage (or the mockery they make of it...)
2. PhD (It is really not a matter of life and death...)
3. Cooking (I know enough to save my life, and the lives of a few other people as well...)
In that order.
I don't want any advice, any guidance, any suggestions, any opinions. I WISH THIS WORLD WOULD JUST SHUT UP.

Vote Infra

My mother was one of the presiding officers at a polling station in the city. This is a regular duty given to school principals at election time. She, along with a team of 4-5 other officers, was incharge of their particular booth. These other officers can come from any of the various delhi govt departments, and from various clerical/admin designations. Attached to this team is also some police presence. So you reach your polling booth at 3 a.m, collect the EVMs and other documents, set up the polling infrastructure, and all this does take time. Voting is carried out from 7 a.m to 5 p.m. That is followed by collection of all the papers and records and most importantly the EVMs, which along with the team, are packed in a secured vehicle and taken to the main collection centre in the city.
Now you can imagine, in a city with a population as large as Delhi's, how many polling booths you would have, and hence how many people would be involved in carrying out this exercise. All of those people descend at the same time at the central collection centre. This, very obviously, results in alot of mayhem. The last time ma got the general election duty, she was home at midnight. Today was better, we were home at 10.30 pm.

So, of the various things I admire about my parents, one is that they both are working directly in/with the system in this country (and not as babus, thank you very much) . And through their participation, RG and I have gotten to see a different perspective of reality, and hence also treat in a manner different from most of our counterparts. When you are involved with the actual 'aam aadmi' of your country, on a day to day basis, your understanding of issues of affecting them and indirectly affecting you, becomes much more clear. And talking to people from all levels of the society/administration/professional spheres, makes you...a lot more complete, and alot more aware of the actual realities. And that, I feel, is very very important in a country as diverse and crazy as ours.

Hamara vote

May 7th. We made our way to our polling booth, which by the way happens to be the booth for everyone from our colony. As a backgrounder, let me add that we stay in a neighbourhood of this country's Babus who don't have an iota of social conscience, as has been evident on several occassions in the past.
So anyway there we were at our polling booth, and RG very coolly says to the officer, Sir I would like to cast a 49-O vote. And then began the expected uproar - There's no such provision, Dont tell us the rules, Why don't you just vote like everyone else, Why are you holding up everyone else's tun to vote etc etc.
Now yesterday I had happened to go through the Election Rules, 1961 (available online), and went through the entire Section-49. 49-O as is being promoted through various forms of media essentially allows you to case a vote for 'None of the Above', and all that has to be done is to record it in Form 17A. Form 17A is the very same register where every elector's information is recorded before they case the vote. And 49-O is not the same as a tendered vote, that is 49-P.
But when I tried to explain all this to the presiding officer there, he would just not agree/listen. After making RG wait for about 15 mins, he took out the Rules manual, and came up with the same solution, and then went on to record his vote as a 49-O in the register/form 17A.

Now, a couple of things -
1. Polling officers have no idea of rules, they dont bother to read up Even When someone comes and tells them to look it up. They would rather make a phonecall to some senior person, who may/may not answer, and even then may/may not turn up to resolve the issue.
2. The educated class of this country has no BRAINS. Everyone at our polling booth was from our locality, many infact who we know. And not one of them had any idea about the implementation of 49-O. And not one of them was bothered to let it work out. All they were bothered about was being allowed to vote so that their time is not 'wasted'. NOT ONE of those present could have been bothered about anything else but themselves. TYPICAL OF THEIR BREED.
3. HOW can people be allowed to bring in Cameras and take photos of themselves casting their vote??!?
4. But, as we were exiting from the booth we did hear someone say "..I had always thought this colony was one of aam-aadmi, but...." . I'm guessing RG did impress Someone :)
The rest of NK can go F*** itself.

What's been making news...

So I know I've been writing that the I.E has been full of interesting news snippets regarding the run-up to the elections. Here are some links that I liked...

Democracy reaches Gujarat islands 60 yrs after Independence

The Fence-sitters

Other Vidarbha wants backward status too

Kashmiri Pandits demand right to vote

Lone elector in Gir polling booth casts vote

Actually, I don't. And anyway Delhi votes tomorrow... finally!

bas...

I need scp here. asap.

....life goes on..

Last two days were...
watched an IPTA play at IIC, and then had the yummiest veg dinner there, everrr! It's odd, we never ordered such good veg food there before. RG has been coming home too, his viral's much better and no, its not the swine flu.
The I.E. is stuffed with election news from every corner of the country. The shekhar gupta editorial this week is on how the independent candidates actually are reflecting an undemocratic developement in some sense, and why he feels they won't make it. Yesterday's paper also carried an interesting report on how the Buddhist monks in Sri Lanka were opposing the UK-France demand for a ceasefire in the region. They said this wouldn't have been the case had the attack been on, say, the Al Qaeda, and not the LTTE.
The IPL, I am sorry to say, is a big disappointment, that 'feel' is just not there.

The temp in Delhi was 44 deg.C yesteday...If you haven't lived in this city, you can never know what that means.
P.S. I know i need to talk to someone, about some things, in a nice polite manner.... but it's not happening right now.

Ufff...

I Just Don't Know....how things will ever work out, if they ever do. I don't see things working out in the way I had hoped they would. For alot of reasons. And I don't want to talk about it to anyone at all.

It's odd really, sometimes I feel I don't even know the real me...and I know that sometimes I make it really difficult for the other person to get to know the real me. For instance, right now there is someone who is trying his best to get through to me, even though honestly I'm the one who has pissed him off...and even then I'm not able talk to him. It's not as though he's a stranger or something, but I'm just completely unable to tell him whats going on. And that's not because of him though. I suppose it's just me.... reminds me of the Dipsite '...we are like this only...'... Except that I'm NOT like this!! I had always always always thought that if and when someone would be extra nice to me/care about me/all those other things, that I would have liked all of that attention/flattery etc.... but apparently even such things take time to get used to. And I don't know how much time I need/will take. And I don't know how much time I have.

Ufff...Would have gone to naani's, but this time it won't help since they all will just talk about the marriage. Especially since S***'s has just been fixed a few days back, which in effect leaves me with no buffer against the shaadi talk.

Can't wait to go to the Ashram this time...

Of shifts and changes...

So for the past one week we've been trying to re-do my room into a reading room. This has involved moving all the bookshelves into one room, which in itself involved removing the books first, and then putting them back. We also had to move the bed into RG's room. And we had to consolidate all the books lying in all random corners of the house. We have alot of books!!! Right from beginning with all those Enid Blytons, Nancy Drews, Hardy Boys, the Anne series, the Swallows & Amazons series, loads of Asterix & Tintin...followed by fiction of recent years, as well a considerable amount of reading on sports, music, history, culture etc. All the bookshelves are already packed... Ma isn't too happy with the change!
I also had to sort out a whole bunch of readings, articles, exam papers, admit cards etc...finally managed to get rid of alot of papers. Also went through stacks of old greeting cards collected over the years for birthdays, new year, friendship etc... So there were the ones I would get from my friends in Muscat, with every available inch filled with the latest gossip! There were also the ones I've received from mausi over the years - The ones when U*** was young enough to write ' i love you didi' ;) And then the ones that signed off with four names, following A*****'s birth. There was an entire separate bundle of letters and cards from Mr & Mrs Prince, tracing my pre-teen, teen and then the post-teen years! I also discovered school magazines, and old slam books, and photographs... and well, stuffed toys too. Phew! I didn't even know my room could hold so much of my life!
While i do not find it easy to throw away alot of things, I did manage to discard quite alot of stuff today. It's something I just felt needed to be done, and I've been feeling it for a while now.

hmm

Did I mention one other nice thing about my birthday? Someone wrote a post on a certain blog, complete with two birthday cakes and a song!! This year sure seems to be full of new things! 

Speaking of new things, something's been happening for the last few days, and I am still to accept it myself. I'm here physically, but mera dimaag toh kahin bohot door hai! It's odd really, how someone can just creep into your life, and it just changes everything. It's scary too since I don't know where this will take us.

Anyway tomorrow we have a get-together at college to celebrate the April birthdays of our dept faculty...Can't wait to meet everyone!

25...made it so far!

I had SUCH an awesome birthday! And I counted, I celebrated it Properly after 7 whole years of being stuck with exams in April...
So at night alot of people called up. The first one being :) . And in the morning too Skype really helped. Ofcourse it was interrupted alot of times! The afternoon lunch at CP was nice. D got me the bestest present ever!! Lol! And Prag got me two presents and a bouquet! I had almost forgotten that a b'day is supposed to mean all these things! I felt super special! Poor M was given enough hints during lunch and she tried to make it up by saying she had been 'thinking' of getting the cake! Which is also something that D was planning to do! Eventually they called up K who had no clue at all why i was treating today! Lol! It was hilarious, his typical '..shit yaaaar, duuude..'!! We stuffed ourselves with food, and their amazing desert...After which we took a whole round of CP and did some shopping at Fab...M got me something from there! lol! After a short break at Mc'D, we found ourselves an empty bench at one of the inner circle crossings, and tried to have a photo session! Anyone who knows my phone would know the camera is a very spoilt brat. Anyway got a ride home with RG n papa... At home I found a pretty bunch of red carnations waiting for me :) From the wise-one and jiju! Awww...I was so touched! It was so so so sweeeet of them!! So anyway the four of us talked for a while, and then dressed up to go to someone's wedding! Where I had lots of chaat and gol-guppas and pau-bhaji and some other fancy stuff...
Now I'm very tired. But very very happy.... I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes... ;) (sorry, its pretty corny i know! )

P.S. The two IPL matches today were awesome! Especially the RR vs KKR waala..toooo good!

Earth Day

I love it how the Google homepage changes colours/forms reminding people of what the occassion is! And today it's green. Which is also the focus of today's LiveMint, with it's special issue on 'Greening the Business'. I was surprised to learn of Wipro's eco-friendly laptop called E.go! And Nokia's Take Back campaign where they will collect handsets, batteries etc of phones of any make which people want to discard, and plant a tree for every handset collected. Yayyy Nokia!

The front page of today's I.E. shows a Reuter's photo of a little boy hurt in the ongoing clash between the Sri Lankan Army and the LTTE. It completely broke my heart.

Haulle Haulle...& news

There's a remix of the 'haulle haulle' song doing the rounds these days. For some reason I really like it! And it's the first time I'm actually understanding what those lyrics mean...

On a different note, the elections frenzy is on, as is the IPL. Even the I.E. suddenly has so much stuff worth reading in it, more than the usual! Arjun Singh is upset that his children were not given a ticket by the Congress to contest in these elections, he says its the price he's paying for 'loyalty'. The man is so old and wasted, I don't understand how he's even alive till now. Karunanidhi on the other hand began by praising LTTE's Prabhakaran, and later on said he didnt mean it! The best of the lot is Priyanka Gandhi. Ofcourse she's not directly contesting, but she is just so comfortable and forthright in every statement, every speech....she seems like she's made for politics!
The Mint also carried some interesting articles today... One from the WSJ on how the global economic downturn is affecting the lives of nomads in Mongolia. And another one from the NYT looking at saving the planet by skipping newspapers...

Someone I once knew

So this is about C. And this is the last post ever about him. First, he's not upfront with me. And then just look at the jerk, when I ask him 'why' he says 'lets get this straight, so u dont want me to be in touch with you' - EVEN THEN he couldn't answer me. And this was online, not like he had to SAY it to me and definitely not in PERSON. What a loser. I'm so glad I neither spoke to him nor met up with him when he was here. I don't even think I can use the word 'hate' for him. I just feel sorry for him.

3ab

The university exams have begun. It's odd to be on the other side, where in some ways the students' performance depends on what we've tried to 'teach' them over the past one year.

3ab took their exam today. 3ab is my Globalisation class. It's an optional paper, so its a small class. It's small, but very diverse! Together they represent every socio-cultural vein of our college - across religions, they are there in sports, drama, dance, music and the odd academic too! They got in touch with me post-exam and said it went off well. Their 'thank you' made me feel so GOOD! Although I did tell them I should be the one thanking them! Had they wanted to, they could have made life hell for me! Lol!! They've been an absolute pleasure to teach, and I really really hope everything works out well for them after graduation. I'll miss them!

random

A few things..
One, WHY on earth have we not hung Kasab till now? And what the hell are we trying to prove by giving him a lawyer, then letting his mother visit etc? And what do you need a trial for? You caught the man carrying out an act of terrorism in your country, a billion people saw it.... लेकिन नहीं, फाँसी पर नहीं चढाएँगे उसे...
Two, I watched Dil Chahta Hai today. God do I love that movie! I almost feel like i've grown up with it. Each time there's something different that I find I can relate to in it...and ofcourse the 'jaane kyun' song... alwayyys reminds me of the discussions D and I would have with R.A. (who incidentally send some of her wedding snaps across to the rest of us today!)
Three, why do things have to be thought out so practically? And why couldn't we have had more time? (Maybe we still do?)

.....

C is in town. Not that it matters anymore. He lied. About a pretty important thing. I can't bring myself to believe he just overlooked it. And then he calls up (as usual) pretending everything's fine. What kind of a person is he?

:)

Do you need to worry about the economic meltdown? :)

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1077

Undergradese :)

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1082

Timings

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1093

How profs spend their time

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1060

Where you sit in class

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1017

Life plan vs Reality

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=360

Grad horoscope :)

http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=672

सब ठीक

Last few days have been good। On all fronts.
And the run-up to the elections is getting crazier day by day. Third Front, Fourth Front, Varun Gandhi, Vaiko, Lalu...I don't recall having found an election as interesting as this one ever before! And they're crossing all limits when it comes to their campaign speeches. Varun Gandhi grabbed the limelight with his very communal remarks. Maneka Gandhi worsened it. And Lalu toh just added the icing to that cake! lol!! Add to that Mr Vaiko 's totally crazy and blunt support of the LTTE...!
And supposedly the Taliban has entered the country, except that Omar Abdullah dismissed all such news last night. The news anchor was just SO disappointed.
P.S. Of all the party spokespersons coming on TV these days, Mani Shankar Aiyar wins hands down.

मैं क्या करूँ ?

I said some things today to someone. Which I felt had to be said. And I'm sure I hurt him. Which makes me very sad. . I wish there could have been an easier way to resolve all this. Things have become clearer to me. So while there are alot of things that could make this work, there are also some differences.... and those will seem ok only with time. But even if all this doesn't work out, I hope we'll still be friends. I want to be there for him right now, but as his friend, as we've been so far. Not as a potential two-some.

शायद problem मेरी ही है, मुझे ही नहीं पता कि मुझे क्या चाहिए... जब हम दोस्त थे तो मुझे लगा कुछ और है। अब वह इतना अच्छा बन रहा है तो मुझे यह सब अच्छा नहीं लग रहा।

Kab kyun kahan kaise...!

Something happened a few days back. It has seemed so OK and natural till before it happened. Once it happened however, everything felt so blurred.
Obviously it had something to do with a guy! I mean, honestly, only that sub-species can generate this whole gamut of emotions in me, which I just cannot handle! And the guy in question has been mentioned in this blog...
I've known him for like forever! Of course there was a phase when we were not in touch, but inspite of that the familiarity has stayed. And he's just this really great guy. In every way. He's brilliant :) And kind, and shareef, and sporty and cute too! lol! And our parents know each other as well. Recently our conversations have been more centered around the love/marriage aspect...

So anyway, then that thing happened....... and while it was very very unexpected and sudden, it wasn't disastrous. But somehow after it all was done with, I don't know where we stand. I don't even know how well we know each other. I mean, we do know each other pretty well (I think), but is it enough? And when do you know it's enough?!
He's been very nice about the whole thing. I'm sure he must have freaked out more than me, even then he's handled it better than me! I just felt so scared about the whole thing. To be honest, I didn't want to talk to him for a while. Even now that a few days have passed, I don't think I'm my normal self with him.... He, on the other hand, is willing to give this a shot, subject to certain constraints about which neither he nor I can do anything. I know he's trying to make me feel comfortable about the whole thing, for which I am very thankful. He's been talking to me more openly about us, than I have...I wish I could speak that easily right now.... But I think I need to think some things through on my own too. And we definitely need time...and I need a new brain.

$#@*!!@#$

I HAVE HAD IT. If one more person tells me to get a f***** 'without specs' snap clicked I will MURDER them. I love my specs. And I love myself with them. And even after I get married I will continue to wear them, so that message better get across at the first instance.

The entire process of arranged marriage has become very ..quantified. What info do you get to see in someone's profile? Height. Weight. Income. Number of houses.

And the requirements, even after generations, remain '...wanted Tall Fair Slim Beautiful girl...' - WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! Has there ever been a standard definition of the above mentioned adjectives? Educational qualifications are in most cases over-powered by the aforementioned requirements. And then you would think if they are demanding such standards, their own boys would be an equal match? BUT NOO! OBSCURE education from pretty obscure institutions, average job profiles and NO extra-curricular interests...and you can forget about the looks, for all they are worth (although for ALL of them, their sons are Fair, Handsome, Sharp features, Very goodlooking!).

And it's so ODD, once the profiles (and at times photographs) are exchanged, the boy's family in 99.9% of the cases doesnt even SHARE them with the boy, before making a decision! I mean, hellooo?!

I AM NOT A COMMODITY. YOU CAN'T COME INTO MY HOUSE AND STARE AT ME AS IF I AM SOME PURCHASE YOU ARE CONTEMPLATING. AND ...I CANNOT GET MARRIED TO ANYONE WHO HAS AN MBA, met one of those excessively inflated egos' a few days back, a complete ASS.

I've never had issues with my appearance before. I might not be spectacular, but I'm not bad :) And if you're going to say no to me, even without meeting me, just for some girl who is 2 inches taller or comes with 6/6 vision, then it's your loss. That I can say with certainty. So in the long run I won't even remember it, but in the short-run it does hurt. And that's where this post is coming from.

और अब मेरा गाली देने का मन कर रहा ही

P.S. Thank you lambu-engineer for the laughs...

EarthHour '09 in New Delhi

The earth hour has just ended. And atleast amongst friends I know, it was a success. Which is more than what I can say for the locality where I stay. I got to see, yet again, the complete passive, non-participatory response from the middle-class of new delhi. I stay in a neighbourhood of civil servants, scientists, doctors, professors etc. Some of the brightest, most educated and aware people in this country. And as has been the trend, their complete apathy came as no surprise to me. We had a whole bunch of kids screaming their lungs out, 'please turn off your lights!', 'help fight global warming' etc, (in hindi as well). But most of the stubborn idiots in my neighbourhood paid no heed. Delhi seriously lacks a social conscience.

On the other hand when our domestic help, Rama, saw us turning off the lights and bringing in the candles, she got super excited and ran off to tell her family to join in this global movement! And I realised it was a whole lot of fun!

It's sad that people who can actually begin making a change at their own level don't take the initiative. And we have general elections coming up soon enough, I dont even want to think about the voter turn-out for that.

Anyhow the weather in delhi today evening made this earth hour super sexy! We had crazy rain, thunder, lightning, strong winds..and that amazing geeli mitti ki khushboo!
Pics from my earth hour will follow soon!

Earth Hour 2009

All right, time to 'Vote Earth'. Earth Hour 2009 is aiming at a goal of 1 billion people switching off their lights on March 28th 2009 from 8.30pm to 9.30 pm in their respective local times as part of a global vote reflecting efforts towards combating climate change. This is a classic example of the times of globalisation. The problem of climate change is global in nature. The concerned actors (governments, communities, businesses) affected are also no longer differentiated by traditional geographical boundaries. The mode of action (in this case) has the use of the internet to spread the message across nations and nationalities...it's really amazing in that sense.

Photo 6/6

Reefknot tagged me way long back for this....

Here's how this works....Get the 6th picture from your 6th photo folder and tell its story and then, in turn tag 6 people you like....


Here is mine...



This is from last summer when I got to visit Denmark and parts of Sweden. The edge from where this has been clicked is in Helsingor, a town/city up north in denmark. What you see across the sea is Helsingborg in Sweden.

The 'Øresund' (meaning The Sound) is a strait that runs between the two countries. We crossed it twice, from two different ports, by two different means. From Copenhagen in Denmark you can take the train over the Oresund bridge-and-tunnel (which is fabulous!) to Malmo in Sweden. Alternately from Helsingor you can take a ferry into Helsingborg - here the strait is only 2.5 mi (4 km) wide. Helsingor also has a really nice castle called the Kronborg...don't you just love the sound of that? It's as nice as 'Bosphorous', my most favourite sounding word!

............................................

So that is that. I am tagging the few people I know!

Reefknot
Ashgirl
Tomodachi

S-PhD
Others are more than welcome to carry this forward!

Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture

Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
Given at Carnegie Mellon University
Tuesday, September 18, 2007

http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=362421849901825950&hl=en

My favourite lines would have to be these -
"....But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people...."

Another bit that stuck with me was -
"... wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you. He said, when you’re pissed off at somebody and you’re angry at them, you just haven’t given them enough time. Just give them a little more time and they’ll almost always impress you..."

In print

I've got my 6 lines of fame in the papers ;) lol! And they're highlighted! I'm hoping this is a once in a lifetime thing...

Seeing Red

I am angry. Very very very angry. There are some things I just cannot tolerate. And then it doesn't matter WHO we are talking about.

I hate it when people can't be honest with me. And I hate it when people don't tell me what I have every goddamn right of knowing. And I hate hypocrites. I hate it when people around me suddenly begin acting as if we are living 20-50 years ago (if not more). I hate cheats, especially the autowaalas here. I hate the eve teasers in this city. I hate the mostly passive middle class here. I hate the stupid dilli-punjabi attitude. I hate it when very educated and supposedly aware individuals start talking of, and viewing, women as if we are still meant for the 'household'. I hate it when people don't vote.

Today more specifically I'm angry at my entire family. I feel like I've been let down. I feel that at the end of the day no-one is that liberal - no matter your education, no matter your exposure.... and no one has the guts to just let people be the way they are. Everyone just has to conform to what the 'society' sees as acceptable. So we have a whole bunch of people who dress the same, walk the same, talk the same...even want the same. I got into the elevator and screamed and abused till it reached the ground floor.I hate every goddamn person I know right now.

almost dead...

Been a while since I've written anything.

I cannot even begin to express how difficult the past 10 days have been. The workload at college has magnified exponentially, and all because the term ends about 2 weeks before the official date. If you've ever taken even One extra lecture you would know how demanding it is. I on the other hand have been taking an average of two every day - i.e. in addition to the normal ones. And without an atom of doubt in my mind I can say the unsustainability of it is begin to show now. I've lost my sleep, I've lost my appetite and most importantly I've lost the peace I otherwise enjoyed for the past few months! All I've been doing is studying and lecturing, studying and lecturing.... tomorrow I have five...it can kill anyone.

The students still manage to make me smile amidst all this. Third yrs have begun looking forward to their farewell and Grad-D :) I had my 15 seconds of fame in a video the juniors are making as their going away present! For the past two days we've also had a 'dharna' to protest the high prices in the 'cafe' - I find it funny really, because frankly not too many people could be really bothered about this issue on campus, least of all the students! And you can't demand the fanciest of menus with the largest subsidy! But it IS over-prices, compared to both HC as well as JNU...

Lost has happened on 'the search' front. I'm too tired to type it all out right now! Besides its nice to keep the mystery as of now ;)
We're going to jodhpur-jaisalmer this weekend, combining it with the eid+holi hols... and I've looked up something for the summer too, good old youth hostel...
Apart from that, yes we got a few oscars to our name...finally...

And well, do check out khojguru.com :) My own experience has been one of finding some very interesting results on that site! lol!