Just ...

I'm happy today :) Not that anything spectacular has happened. But I guess it's the theory of balance - when one thing goes down, something else will go up.

The sporadic shopping trips have begun. Tickets are almost booked. Been realising all the things I'll miss. Some of my students' have written in, asking me to stay back for another year. That was the most unexpected and sweetest thing to have happened since term ended. I was taken aback. But it reaffirmed my faith in my job and how it can, really, make a difference to, and touch, another young person's life in a way that probably even I had never imagined. And it felt good. Really good :)

Chai

Chai (tea) is a staple drink in this country. We mix a whole lot of milk in water, add a whole lot of sugar and tea leaves to it, and boil it depending on how 'kadak' (strong?) you like it.

Chai is also a staple drink in most university campuses here. You can substitute it with nimbu pani (lemonade) or coffee at times, but at the end of the day nothing beats the chai & samosa combo. Nothing. And you still get the two for Rs. 5 or less!

I've had countless number of chai-samosa meals on campus, here and at JNU. But there's something about the DU chai, and samosa, which makes it taste like no other. The others might be better at times, but the DU ones have their own taste. One that just grows on you. One that you just grow to expect, day after day, till you leave...

Chai & samosa is also what we are served when invigilation duty hits half time. When you have to wake up early in the morning, earlier than you'd like to, and do everything to reach college on time, and then manage a class of 40-60 students taking an exam, and try not to let the silence and drowsiness kill you, then the chai & samosa is like a lifesaver.

I pick up the Styrofoam cup, 10 minutes after it has been put on my desk. Even then I have to blow into it to make it cool enough so I can swallow it. I feel the sweet, over boiled tea pass through my system. Then I take a bite of the samosa. And it feels like heaven.

Sometimes the chai is bland. Sometimes its too bitter. And sometimes it's so sweet that even the spices of the samosa cannot neutralise it! Either way, it still tastes awesome. Just like it always did.

Nostalgia

So, I love my job. That includes my sense of belonging to the university campus, and its dynamics. I begin to realise how much though, every time we come close to term-end.

The campus becomes silent. The metro is less crowded. So are the roads. No more waiting at eating joints at lunch time. No more cheesy displays of young love! No more visual updates on the latest in fashion trends. No more groups of students sitting in college lawns for no reason at all. Alot more crowd at the xerox places! Suddenly the empty bags they carry throughout the year become too small for all the notes, articles and books that they realise have to be read.

As much as I was craving for term-end, it doesn't take me even a day to begin missing them. Meeting them every day, talking to them, trying to get them to talk (in/out of class), passing them by in the corridors or elsewhere ... I miss it all. My life feels empty all of a sudden.

Add to that the fact that my old set of students from last year are graduating this year. They've flooded FB with their farewell photos, comments, and notes. Needless to say it took me back to the time when we graduated. Seems like a lifetime ago. Those were such uncomplicated fun times - S, C, P, me and the others ...

:p

Student - "Ma'am is it ok if I come in 10 minutes late?"

Me - "10 mins?" :p

Student - "yes ma'am, actually its the dramatics society farewell, so like...would it be ok if i come in like 20 mins late?"

Me - "20 mins is it?" :)

Student - "I mean, there's some work n all, so you know, like if i enter 1o mins before class ends....?"

Me - "That's what I was waiting to hear...." :D

Ofcourse she entered just 10 minutes late and rushed out the moment the lecture ended.

This week and the next are going to be terrrrrible. Can't wait for it to end. Until then stocking up on the coffee and random-hour snacks.

I'm good at what I do. And proud of it.

It's nice when people at work appreciate what you do. It reinforces my belief in my work, in myself doing a good job of it. And at the end of the day the appreciation starts always from the students. That's where it then flows to the rest of the staff.

I'm happy today. I've realised yet again, that hard work and sincerity always get recognised. Always. Sooner or later. When it happens in a male dominated college & department, then it feels even nicer!

hmm

So Twitter's got me at long last. I'm finding it somewhat of a burden though, I'm confused between putting things down here, or just making a quick mention of them there. I don't really entirely like the convenience it offers!

Things at the place of work have been pretty bad. Unpleasant. Just letting them be that way for now. D said apologising would probably end up creating conditions in which I could end up making things worse :p

Last term is in any case the toughest. There's just no scope to postpone stuff. End feb/first week march and we unofficially wrap everything up.

North campus has begun to feel like Holi & Valentines' day all at the same time. The lovely weather in the city just adds to the niceness of it all. February is when you should be in Delhi. Every tree is blossoming, every bush and every corner has flowers sprouting out of it, the grass is greenest on everyone's side.

This weekend is also the first wedding in the circle of family friends who are now family for all practical purposes. It's going to be one big loud typical crazy hectic indian wedding. Looking forward to it. Surprisingly.

So far...

It is turning out to be a magical december.

College has been at its most vibrant. December brings with it just the perfect weather to enjoy the city. The right mix of sunshine and a slight nip in the air. The university is buzzing with countless festivals - economics, history, english, sociology, movie screenings, dance/dramatics and what not! It does make me nostalgic. At the same time I do like being a part of this way. Especially their requests to be a judge :p Coursework is on track, but term-end is always tiring. Just the thought of all the loose ends that have to be tied together before we go in for the winter break is enough to exhaust one entirely.

This week was tiring also because RG & I were busy executing a surprise weekend getaway for the parents' anniversary. From their feedback so far, it seems to have been totally worth the effort :)

I have managed to watch a few movies, caught up with AB & D as well. AB's life has ended up getting alot messier than anyone could have imagined. Whatever happened to good things happening to good people, I wonder...

I've been surprised by myself in many ways recently. I've never been able to hide what I feel too well. But this time I seem to be setting new records for myself. While that in itself is astonishing, what's new is that somewhere I feel ok about it. Initially I did feel as though I was coming across as stupid/dumb/foolish, and while at some moments I did, usually I just feel like there's no point in holding back, in keeping it inside of me. Ofcourse the repercussions have been that the entire city has seen me grinning like a nutcase. The people at the metro station, the autowaalas, my students, colleagues, ma, friends (D said I've never looked like this!), and well a certain someone across a computer screen half way across the world.

Life can sometimes be so strange. It takes one unexpected turn and you have to figure it all out , all over again. I've realised it's best not to question some things. Sometimes you just can't do anything. Just have to let them happen. When they are meant to happen. If at all. This once, I am waiting, just to even hope/pray that it might work out...

undergrads

It has suddenly become very cold in Delhi. It snows in Shimla, and our woollens are out. It doesn't help that half the population is down with the flu. Including your truly. Teaching becomes most difficult then. To stand for an hour, do some heavy duty talking while at the same trying to gauge the mood of 45-50 nineteen year olds, when your body feels like wood and head like a stack of hay - is no childs play!

This week particularly the boys seem to be very restless. This week seems to have been marked by a lull in their sports & dramatics activities, so a whole bunch of lanky and very naughty backbenchers have been making my class discussions more animated than usual :)

Yesterday I had to however ask them to try and maintain silence since I was croaking like a frog. They immediately quitened down. At the end of the lecture one of them very innocently enquired 'maam will we have class tomorrow?". My automatic response was why wouldn't we?! And he says 'no maam, you're not feeling well, so you should take a day off and rest' - LOL! All the while I could make out the impish grin of his, and those around them, hoping for a free day...

Today one of them came up to me as I wrapped up some work and said 'maam do I trouble you alot in the class?" :) I honestly didn't know what to say to him! I had an urge to laugh out loud, but well had to control that one. I told him I'd let him know when he was stepping the bounds, and that it was fine, 'its the age' for him to trouble me and for me to have enough tolerance to enjoy it than be bothered by it!

Another time one of them turned up, looking very apologetic about his low attendance in class. 'maam I really want to improve my attendance'.....

I do love these kids. I can't help it!

The festival season has begun in the university. So all the dance, dramatics, music people are busy with practices. It's infectious, the urge to not attend class! The weather just adds to the temptation of sitting down with a good cup of coffee and some good music.

Proud me

"Should we start a petition to get you back?" said one of the students at my old place of work.

"We miss you" messages are still pouring in.

"Heard they were very happy with you. Good show!" said Mojo.

Phew!

This has easily been the longest week in a very long time. Even longer than the previous one and that was a seriously painful week.

I was down with flu. I missed being a 19 year old who could just sleep in, monday to friday, instead of having to get up early, take the auto-metro-rick to college and speak for hours with a very sore throat, a fuzzy feeling in the head and a body that just wants to curl up in a nice warm bed.

The university where I teach has holidays in the first two weeks of october every year. Earlier this time would correspond with the beginning of the festival season in the country. In recent years however the festivals seem to begin a few days before october and go on till a few days after Oct'15th. This results in the holidays stretching on, unofficially.

September is all about navratras, ramzan, durga puja and this year Dussehra too seems to be falling in Sept. Which is why most students have already returned to their home towns. So unofficially yesterday was the last teaching day in this term. And since diwali is on Oct'17th and bhai-dooj a few days after that, the kids won't be returning before Oct'20th. That's practically a month of holidays for them! Ofcourse it's never enough as they were quick enough to remind me that last year the lunar calendar granted them a little more than 4o days of festivities! Needless to say I, for my part, am going to miss them alot, you can't help but grow fond of them.

Yesterday D's boss was on leave. So we had one of those once-in-a-very-long-time relaxed days. Had lunch at the india islamic cultural centre, which has an excellent restaurant, they cook some of the nicest indian food. Then walked down to Eatopia at the habitat centre, where we leisurely munched over some chocolate truffle. And checked out what was going on in terms of plays, movies etc. Just going to IHC can have such a soothing effect on your nerves, what with it's eco-friendly design. I wish I could have a home like that one day.

After that we went to Dilli Haat. That is one place we've never needed a reason to go to. There's always something to do there. Just walk amongst the stalls selling indian handicrafts - looking at some bits of silver jewellery or kurtas or silks or wood carvings or the lovely madhubani painting etc. In recent times it's become rare that we've picked up something, mostly because it's the same old stuff (for us) and slightly because, on the rare occassions that we have infact liked something, the seller has been more busy wooing americans/europeans! We did however stop at every single stall, D made sure of it. When we got tired, it was time for some momos at the Sikkim food stall (there is no better place for momos there). You know the sauce they serve them with, the one that's made up of red chillies and very little of anything else? Well, more or less it is spicy/hot to the same extent. Knowing which, D very confidently put five spoonfuls of it in each of our plates. After the first bite however, all we could say was "what have they put in this thing?!!" It was just so spicy. More hot than any chilli-based sauce or pickle I've ever had. We had tears running down our eyes, and running noses, and even then we couldn't resist it.

Eventually we picked up a whole lot of candles and diyas (lamps) for diwali from about half-a-dozen stalls of an association called 'Arunim' which works towards rehabilitation of mentally challenged people - it is an indirect initiative of the ministry of social justice and empowerment - infact the reason the stalls were so good this time was because this fornight they seem to have been given out to craftsmen identified under the same criteria. D & I usually do our diwali shopping together, looking for the best bargains, and we can confidently say their stuff was the prettiest we have seen in years. Bought some diyas handpainted pink, blue, green with sequins and what not.

It's safe to say that the festive spirit is well in the air. We went and watched 'Ramayan' a few days back at the Shri ram bhartiya kala kendra. It's one of the two main epics of hinduism. Basically Lord Ram did a whole lot of good deeds, and in the end killed the evil Ravana and returned home after 14 yrs of exile. Their 'Ram' wasn't as good as the previous ones we've seen but well the whole experience nevertheless was nice. The choreography, colours, costumes... AND the best part was at the end, at the exit there was this guy selling kiddy bow & arrows, swords and 'gadaa' (I am struggling to recall what it's called in english - is it a club?) - you know, the kinds they make out of cardboard, and then cover with alot of colourful chartpapers/cellophane sheets. And they fill the hollow part of the club with some stones or such-like, so that when you shake it, it makes that sound! I can't remember the last time I saw these things! I recall they used to be so popular when we stayed with my grandfather (before we left for muscat), and every year these sellers would ride on their bicycles through the streets, with these 'toys' mounted on a stand which was somehow fixed on to their bikes. That was easily 15 years back, if not more. RG & I were just so kicked to see them again! We,like the rest of the 5-10 yr olds there, surrounded that fellow and asked/haggled the price! We are now the proud owners of the biggest bow, one dozen paper arrows, and a smaller 'gadaa' :D Aah Fun-ness!

Yesterday there were garba/dandiya celebrations in our neighbourhood. In the garba, you use your hands to clap as you turn and twirl in circular formations which can be made of hundreds of people at a go. In the dandiya, you use wooden sticks instead. There's a vey distinct beat, to which you can only do the garba/dandiya, and nothing else!

It's the end of navratras today. Probably the enitre nation will be eating chana-puri-halwa! It also marks the end of 9 days of "no non-veg"! Ask anyone and they will tell you how much stronger the craving for any kind of non-veg is during the navratras!

Tomorrow is Dusshera. There will be huge effigies of Ravana (the evil demon) constructed everywhere, with 11 heads since he had so many of them, and they will be filled with fircrackers. In the evening, at the auspiciously determined time, all of them will be set to fire, thus marking the victory of good over evil. Diwali comes 20 days after Dussehra, when Lord Rama finally returned home - that's when we light the candles and lamps. More on that in 20 days time.

End of a something

Surprise farewell from my students. Present, flowers, cake...I was overwhelmed!

It's amazing how efficient the student grapevine is. Even before I entered college, it seems the SRCC kids told the LSR ones about my appointment there, so I had to deal with a lot of 'whyyyy them?' issues!

Administration hassled me no end. But today, I fought back. Infact I reasoned, argued, screamed at everyone who tried to tell me my 'right' - which I am very clear about and which they are trying to fudge. I especially hate it when the inefficient admin staff talks to me. Just told them to shut up. I only speak to the HoD and Principal, not irrelevant incompetent idiots. I mean, give me a break. I can't take nonsense from everyone only because they are men and/or older to me. I don't function that way.

So, new beginnings from monday. Past few days have been so exhausting that they've almost taken away the feeling of jubilation that should have been there, but well I have the weekend to get it back.

Aur ab koi mujhse panga le kar dekhe...kutte kahin ke.

Arggghh

There are times when I seriously want to kill someone. Like today. I just refuse to tolerate things anymore. The amount of nonsense I have to put with from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep - it's a wonder I haven't killed myself already.
I have got an offer to teach at the best undergrad institute in this country for my subject. I have every right to resign from my current institute, according to the terms of the contract. And yet they are not relieving me. I've heard a whole lot of crap about institutional commitment etc - it's surprising they are even saying this to me considering I haven't been paid since July. To add insult to injury they tell me I can teach at 'any other' college from next month - are they blind?! You cannot compare 'the best' to just 'any other'. It's just not done.
Anyway after a day of frantic phonecalls and running around, I have confirmed one thing - No one can stop me from joining the other place.
And please, duniya bhar ki moral obligations mere sir pe nahin hain. Baksh do mujhe. So, it's bound to get unpleasant when I meet the principal tomorrow, but seriously, I just don't care.

Changes

I am super duper proud of myself :D
Just like I was last year when they appointed me at LSR. Moving on to the sister concern now. (Brother concern is more like it!).

Change has been set into motion. Just when I was craving for it.

"Ma'am, have you seen Kaminey?"

"Yes, I have."

"Ma'am, wasn't it just awefome??!" :D

Throat's been hurting for a while now. Feeling not too well.

There's been an auto strike for two days now. Entire public transport system has come to a standstill. Private cabs charging as much as Rs.350 for roughly 10 kms - highway robbery!! Anyhow hopefully things will get back to normal from tomorrow.

And well, The PhD Project has begun.

"I have to meet a boy..."

Today is a friday. Today was also a day of festivities at college, with all the department having their Freshers' Welcome! All the first years were in various costumes and some really funny accessories! The themes varied from 'angels & demons' to 'Potter mania'. Our department saw its' freshers as book characters who had the seniors wildly guessing their identities! The usual song and dance routine followed, after which they said the stage was open for impromptu performance "including from the teachers" :D The next thing I heard were the typical LSR chants and hoots of 'S**** ma'am!! S**** ma'am...!!" Lol!! One of my students came up to me with a mic in hand for me to sing! I almost died! Only I know how shy I am when it comes to singing infront of anyone! But it felt good too, more so since it was least expected. I however did say something short and sweet to them, after which J sang two lines of a song! We made our way out after that ;)
Then NJM was asking us to stay till later in the evening for the union freshers' welcome. Everyone had their 'excuses' ready - kids at home, in-laws at home etc etc. I ofcourse don't fall in that cateogory. But somehow I was so exhausted that I just told her "I have to go meet a boy". That was followed by me being smothered with hugs & kisses from all of them! They wanted to know if he was coming to college, so all of them could 'meet' (interview) him :)
The boy has come and gone. Let's see what happens.
My nephew has also come over. He's all of 15 months, has just begun to walk, has wrecked our house and is an absolute darling!

Santushti in work...

For the past two weeks, we have been SO close to having monsoons, it's torture! Every morning the sky is thick with clouds. But by the time it's noon, the wind blows them away. The sun is strong and there's this unbearable humidity all day long. And seriously, in this country, you can't keep the AC switched on 24 X 7! I've been surviving on water and neembu-pani; the canteen bhaiyya makes amazing fresh lime soda!
Work is good. Preparing for the classes takes up most of the time, but honestly I don't mind! I think it almost serves as an escape route, to avoid thinking about other stuff. Although Prag & I did have a super long conversation yesterday, about faculty appointments in the Univ and the prospect of having to meet more random guys. It's funny how six months down the line we are so much more clear about what we are looking for in a life partner - and given the lack of change in mindsets of people here, I think we still have some time to ourselves. People's true colours really do come out once you begin interacting with them in this regard - all the s0-called 'exposure' and 'education' and 'liberalism' comes through. I shall not dwell more on this right now, since anyway the entire ordeal is going to restart from next week. Parents come home this sunday...
I think I've written previously too, about how much I love the college structures in this univ. It's a world away from the rest of the noise and etc.
A word on practically being baby-sat by my grandmother. I love my nani to pieces. But honestly, if I hear one more discourse on religious values; the degradation of morals in todays' youth; 'adjustments' required by girls once they get married; the amount of poisonous chemicals in every single thing that we eat; the amount of time we spend on computers; why non-veg food is bad for us etc etc etc...I will scream. I don't want to decide today, what we will eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner today & tomorrow. I don't want to discuss how the maids work in our house, since that pattern is a mutually acceptable one they, and we, have reached over a period of time. I don't want to change that pattern. I don't want to discuss why all the men I have met so far have been utterly disappointing. I just don't. And if this gets worse then I seriously will scream. I know she comes from a completely different time when things were very very different, but times have changed and all I can say is, move with the times. I am done with trying to keep up with her views and trying to reach a middle ground. I now know why Aa & La are the way they are....

Back@work

The univ has reopened. The first two days have been light, work-wise! It's fun to see the Freshers finding their way about college! They are just swarming all over the place, trying to figure out their classes, ECAs, library (?), grounds and the cafe (!) ofcourse! And they are still shareef enough to wish random teachers in the corridors! Lol! Well that is certainly the last time they will be doing it!
Our dept timetable seems to be unsually skewed this time! Way too many tutorials in between lecs. I have a 3b this time, I taught them last year so it should be fine. I also have 2b, a class considered by some as pretty bad (= naughty!) !...well well, we shall see :D
I was also introduced to a recent grad from our dept, who happened to know me in a 'roundabout way' since she works at McKC. I didn't even bother asking through who! Thankfully I had to rush to the library at the time.
The weather's been strange. There are clouds but not enough for rain. There is wind, but the sun's too strong. And there's humidity. Ugh!

At Long last...

The univ reopens tomorrow. At Long Last. I think I would have gone positively insane if I had to wait for even one more day. Ofcourse the route will probably be a little difficult since the metro bridge and cranes collapsed bang opposite our college. But whatever...
I wish parents would hurry up and return. It's been odd, having to decide things about work & studieswithout them being around. No matter how many other people I've spoken to, and there have been quite a few, it's not the same sense of reassurance.
RG is also coming home tomorrow. Naani's been around since ma left, and for once I'm glad I wasn't left home alone.

3ab

The university exams have begun. It's odd to be on the other side, where in some ways the students' performance depends on what we've tried to 'teach' them over the past one year.

3ab took their exam today. 3ab is my Globalisation class. It's an optional paper, so its a small class. It's small, but very diverse! Together they represent every socio-cultural vein of our college - across religions, they are there in sports, drama, dance, music and the odd academic too! They got in touch with me post-exam and said it went off well. Their 'thank you' made me feel so GOOD! Although I did tell them I should be the one thanking them! Had they wanted to, they could have made life hell for me! Lol!! They've been an absolute pleasure to teach, and I really really hope everything works out well for them after graduation. I'll miss them!

NSS project meet

NSS had it's project meet at college. It marks the coming together of all the various projects of various NGOs that run at LSR or have volunteers from the college as part of NSS...
A group of boys from the blind school sang, with one of them playing the piano and another one on the 'dholak'. Then there were about half a dozen kids affllicted with cancer singing 'itni shakti hamay dena daata...'. Another bunch of spastic kids danced to a song from 'taare zameen par'.... And there were several other groups of disadvantaged children on stage.

It was so heartwarming to see them performing. And the hooting-shouting-clapping routine which is just so-lsr seemed stronger than ever before... Almost every performing gave goosebumps...to see how the lives of these children can be changed, and how much of a difference every small opportunity can make to their lives...