Turning 27....

Oh, I didn't blog about the birthday now, did I? Well :p Let's see.

I had to call up Ma and remind her that even though she's with her favourite child, she could wish me since it was time :p

M as usual, just gave me a 'missed call'! :D Trust the woman to do that! However it was awesome as always to listen to her blunt sarcastic take on life!

P & C called ...well P texted (I suppose that's better than a missed call!) and C called, all the while reminding me what a favor he was doing to me :p

Spoke to AB, always been the first one to wish me :) And then AA ....and Guppy who called up a day later so I could 'still feel special' :)

Ofcourse, I was scared out of my wits at midnight when the gang here turned up at my house. I was home alone, given the mice-infestation problem we had in out apartment recently. (Yes, when I say some of my roomies are not clean, I mean it.) I didn't expect these guys to do anything really, I mean .... they are guys after all.... so hearing a loud, nonstop banging on my front door brought me shaking to the living room, with (and yes, I know this is ridiculous) a shoe for protection from who I thought were a bunch of goons outside! However it was these sweethearts :p All with a cake, some presents and the usual dose of humor :D They even made me dinner the next day.... which was really sweet of them since everyone had a ton of work that weekend.

But it some small way it was disappointing too. It was probably just me.....

In any case, I'm just glad there's another birthday memory to replace last year's.

Yearning to be home

This semester is turning out to be quite strange. I somehow don't feel half at-home here this time as I did in the last one. It can't be the homesickness and it can't be the still-shopping-for-courses because all of that is set now. It might be because of everything that's lined up for the next few months. I don't know really. But I don't feel like I'm really here....

Today is div's engagement. I should be in Delhi right now. Gearing up for my best friend's big day. The chaos and raunak of a typical Punjabi wedding - the extended family, the food, the flowers and lights and colors and noise ... I just spoke to her. I had to disconnect twice before the call went through because I just started crying. Sitting in my room, thinking of how long we've known each other for, what all we've been through and how, now, she's finally getting married. My sweet, kind, chocoholic friend .... I can only hope that the beast keeps her happy and smiling forever. What wouldn't I give to be there with her right now.

It's these kind of moments that matter in the end right? I mean, I won't even remember all the stupid classes because of which I can't leave from here .... yet I'll always remember that I never left. I feel terrible about it. Mostly because I know if it were my big day, I would want her to be there with me. Throughout.

This just hasn't been my week I guess. And I have no one to talk to.

Have you ever felt so happy that it scares you? Like every moment of that happiness just seems so fragile? And you just wish you could hold on to that one moment for a little longer and you keep thinking of ways to do that, but all the while you're constantly haunted by the thought that it could be taken away from you in less than a second? Have you ever felt like that?

I've had too much of good news over the past 10 odd days. Too much. Way too much. I don't think I deserve all of it. I don't want all of it. Not all at the same time. It's way too unbelievable! I'm happy though. And everyone around me is proud. Nothing much to say really, except I'm headed to the Big Red :)

Finally.

deeeep breath ...

Alrighty. To be honest, I've been putting this off for quite sometime now. But I just can't take it anymore!!

Till about ten days back I was insanely anxious to hear from a bunch of US Universities I considered myself worthy of applying to. Ofcourse by then most places had sent out a letter of rejection to me. And if you've never received one, I'm afraid there's jus no way for you to know just what it feels like. It's unlike any other kind of 'rejection' you might receive. It hits you at a different level all together. Basically it makes you feel like the worst kind of scum on this planet. And the plethora of thoughts running in your mind essentially boil down to two alternating thoughts - "am I really that bad?!" versus "What was I thinking, applying to them?". And the thing is, it doesn't get better with time. It actually gets worse, letter after letter. So even though you tell yourself that you can take it, tha you won't let it get to you and all that crap, even you know you're lying to yourself. And you know it when that one tiny tear inevitably escapes your eye.

The up-side is since I'm waitlisted at two places, there's still hope. It gets better since both the places are rather good for what I want to study. And since I haven't received 'the' letter till now, it has to reflect some competititve edge my application has! I mean, c'mon, let me get some credit here! The downside is, if the said letter does find its way to my inbox/mailbox I will scream out in pain. Because a letter at the end of the admissions cycle can only be the worst way for them to make someone feel that when all's said and done you're as good/bad as the ones we rejected two months back!

So anyway few days back, I reached a funny sort of equilibrium. I now think it's a stage everyone must reach at some point of time in this process. It was when I finally stopped refreshing my email inbox page every 5 minutes to check for any updates from the unis. When I stopped going through the various online discussion forums where people submit their decision results. When I basically became numb to it all. It actually did happen to me. Honest. I just felt this strange kind of peace. No pain, no joy, no hope, nothing.

Then came yesterday, when very very very unexpectedly things took a turn for the better on the domestic job front. Needless to say I was stunned. That's the only word I have for it. And needless to say the entire extended family was ecstatic. Friends too. I was further surprised when the lambu sent me flowers and chocolates to celebrate with! :) How can I not like him?!

The thing is, I was happy too. Obviously.

But you know honestly it's changed the balace between my arguments for leaving vs staying on here, in favour of staying put. I've been able to try and be patient for the next few days but in the meantime I can't help but question What the f*** is going on God????! All the while that I wanted things to work out here, something or the other always came in the way. When I finally made up my mind about the PhD, then first you take the west coast option out of the picture. Now you want to change the picture all together?! Why? Why now ....

I know things don't always go according to plan. I also know that everytime this has happened in the past, it has had something good associated with it eventually. But I don't want to go through all of that again. I Just Don't. I Don't Want To Wait For That 'Eventually'. Maybe someone else could go through it for once. Or twice. Or whatever. Why me? Again and again and again ...

Hockey ..

Hockey is this country's national game. Ofcourse you would find it hard to believe. But reasons for that constitute an entirely different story.

Two days back, we happened to go watch India play South Africa in the hockey world cup happening in New Delhi. The entire national stadium has been cordoned off from all sides. As we approached the India Gate roundabout, the night sky was illuminated by the bright lights of the stadium. We were making our way through the rigorous security check when we heard the roar of thousands of people as India scored a goal. At that moment all the policemen stopped talking amongst them. All the volunteers froze. So did the security check. As the cheering subsided, everyone outside broke into smiles. It's funny how inspite of not knowing the H of hockey, people can be united for a single moment.

Ok, so I've never seen a hockey match before this. Never live and as far as I can recall, never even on TV. I've watched cricket (but obviously), football, tennis (again obviously), even the occasional F1/badminton/gymnastics/table tennis/chess etc, but never hockey. Needless to say I was clueless about its finer points. But that's really not much of a handicap if you're just viewing the game...

Our box had alot of youngsters and for once I didn't mind the abuses that flew from peoples' mouths! Each time a south african player would tackle one of ours, or hit/push one of ours, invariably I heard people say "maar de saale ko!", "wahin maar de, hockey se!", "haath tod de b***** ka!" and so on... Whenever one of ours would be unable to hold onto the ball, after the initial urge to curse the fellow was overtaken by the realisation that he was one of ours, people would say "Chalo chalo! koi baat nahin!" in such a forgiving tone, it was ironic! . And each time the South Africans appealed against a goal, or for unfair play, everyone in the stands would start a "boo" which, lets just say, you wouldn't like to be at the receiving end of.

We missed on alot of goals. I can't describe the process of how in less than 2 seconds we would rise from our seats, begin to raise our hands to clap/catcall, open our throats to cheer out hoarse, and then just sit down dejectedly. However, when we did eventually score, there was a collective feeling of jubilation which also I can't being to describe. Young, old, men, women, children, policemen, security guards, media persons, everyone would be cheering like mad, and you could hear chants of "Indiaaaaaa....India " .

We had an interesting Sardarji sitting next to us, who knew more about the game than all of us put together. Which probably explains why throughout the match, he sat fixed on his seat, his arms crossed over his chest with the most cynical expression on his face, as if he was just putting up with the performance of the Indian team (which he apparently didn't think too much of!). Each time we would question the South Africans' appeals, he would explain to us why they were right and we weren't. Each time we'd hoot after a goal, he would glare at us and say "the goal's been scored hasn't it?! So why don't you settle down now!"

Each time we'd wonder where our defenders were, he would remark "oh they must be coming, from Punjab and Madras!" :D

And if we began questioning him too much he would get flustered and say "I'll tell you tomorrow!" :p

The match ended in a draw. What was more fun was this feeling of oneness we felt while we were there. Only a sport can do that.

FYI, Mr.M

Dear Mr. M,

It was unexpected that I got to talk to you, but I guess somewhere I'm not surprised that the first thing she said to me was 'ok just talk to him...!'

D's one of my bestest friends, and I couldn't be happier if I tried! The two of you have definitely taken everyone by surprise, so much so that I almost pity the parents! Don't be taken in by her silence (actually, she and silent??! Since When?!) given that some of us have been hearing of you non-stop since what feels like forever now. And to think you were as gone as she is and the whole bunch of us couldn't figure it out and just took her word that apparently it's normal for you!

D deserves the best. I'm glad you've come into her life at this point of time. And I know things will work out the way you both want them to, at the right time & right place. Ofcourse we must still meet, can't spare her the teasing :p And I need to hear your end of the story too!

Big one for the big guy

I think one of the most difficult phase of the 20s is the hunt for a job. It's made worse when all you're dying to do is begin working, earning, and possibly saving. It becomes hellish when the process of application & interviews leaves you questioning yourself in general, and your abilities in particular.

I don't know of too many friends who escaped this cycle, and the lambu is well, no exception.

So when he informed me that he has landed a job, I was super happy for him! I didn't scream or shout or cry though, as I & people around me had when I'd landed mine! But I felt happy. You know, the kind of happy that's just there inside of you, when you feel that someone has really got their due. And you sort of know what it means to them. How hard they worked for it, how badly they wanted it and how much they deserve it.

The lambu deserves every single tiny piece of good news that comes his way. This one ofcourse was a pretty big one. So here's to you lambu :) Hope this is just the beginning.

Jan 1st musings

Another 1st of January. It usually takes me the whole of today to go over all that happened in the past year, one last time. To assure myself that I did the best I could have, that it was ok if I felt bad. The sunshine filters through curtains that have changed from orange to red, in a new room as I hum along to the Eagles' Tequila Sunrise.

In 2010 I hope to be more giving, more tolerant, less impatient, more aware. I hope to not lose sight of all the things I have and all the people around me who really do love me unconditionally - and the sense of security it brings to my life. I hope to not lose my faith in the goodness of people. I hope I can be more accepting when things don't go my way, as they are bound to! I hope the next few months are worth the wait - I hope there are many more conversations, laughs, photographs, big phone bills, shorter sleep hours - I hope I can let go entirely knowing someone will be there to catch me.

I will fight less with ma. I will be a better friend. I will indulge myself. I will go for longer walks, buy fresh flowers just generally.

Oh, well happy new year's baby

We could probably fix it if we clean it up all day

Or we could simply pack our bags

And catch a plane to Barcelona 'cause this city's a drag

I may take a holiday in Spain

Leave my wings behind me

Drink my worries down the drain

And fly away to somewhere new

Fly away to someone new....

(Counting Crows)

2010 I hope you're kind to me and those I love most.

And the curtains fall...

2009 has just flown by. Yet there are moments of it which will stay with me forever. Or for sometime to come!

I have grown as a person, I have regained the sense of self that had gotten lost over the past few years. I am proud of my work, of what I do, and of myself.

I have discovered new things about myself. How long I will be tolerant, how far I will be pushed, how much I can take before I fight back....

I've discovered emotions I never knew I could feel. I've been red & pink!

I have come to appreciate people around me, I've realised its never too soon to say what you really feel about someone (because sometimes it might just be too late). I'm regaining my faith in love. I know, at the same time, that I can survive the process of letting go, painful as it might seem.

2009 has made me stronger, wiser, a little more realistic, alot more accepting....and leaves me with new hopes & dreams for 2010.

Happy holidays!

blah

So, our diwali was very nice. Lots of food, lots of friends, lots of lamps & candles and all that! We even managed a rangoli. Firecrackers were there too, (not us!), but not as many as in previous years. Which I suppose is a good thing.

Today met up with AB & Ashi for lunch. Poor AB, she's in town for 3 days and is having to meet almost half-a-dozen guys! Lol! It goes without saying that she's just rejecting them, almost on auto-pilot. I guess we've all become numb to some extent. We were talking about how just a year back Ashi & I were so against marriage, while the other two weren't. It's odd, how much we've changed in such a short while. Anyhow...we've known each other for almost a decade..wow..who would have thought we'd all be sitting one day talking about getting married!

These past few weeks I was just focussing on my apps. And in a funny way, it was all good. Smooth. Then today, again, the world had to go mess up my plans. Just when I don't want to get to know a guy, just when I don't want to talk to him, just when I don't want to think of marriage, why must he call me up just then? This is so not done. Just not fair. . I just don't know what to do anymore.

Diwali Week..

Ok, so the festival of diwali is probably the biggest thing in the hindu calendar. This week has been hectic.

Having learnt from our past mistakes, we did our shopping a week in advance this time. That gave us the opportunity to browse through all kinds of hampers of sweets, chips, juices without being pushed and pulled in opposing directions by a dozen totally random strangers. The news channels are going out of their way with stories of how the sweets this year are posioned with urea and what not. Seriously, you would think we would atleast spare the sweets. So anyway we've stuck to some really nice cakes & juices. Traditionally we visit all our relatives, one by one, in the week leading up to diwali, to wish them & hand these goodies over. That is something like 6 households (or more now that some cousins have gotten married), different parts of the city, insane traffice (since everyone else also is doing the same!) and a working week. Not easy!!! Also when an equal number of family & friends are coming over to our house as well. It's basically loony.

We've also shopped for candles (apparently they are expensive this year cuz some candle factory caught fire - i so don't believe that), and diyas (earthen lamps). The diwali lights are up as well - every year the Chinese seem to find a new string of lights to sell to us!). The house has been cleaned. Flowers will be bought on diwali morning, as will garland of marigolds (gaenda phool?). We are still thinking of a design for this year's rangoli (coloured patterns/designs made at the entrance of homes).

All in all, all's well.

Phew!

This has easily been the longest week in a very long time. Even longer than the previous one and that was a seriously painful week.

I was down with flu. I missed being a 19 year old who could just sleep in, monday to friday, instead of having to get up early, take the auto-metro-rick to college and speak for hours with a very sore throat, a fuzzy feeling in the head and a body that just wants to curl up in a nice warm bed.

The university where I teach has holidays in the first two weeks of october every year. Earlier this time would correspond with the beginning of the festival season in the country. In recent years however the festivals seem to begin a few days before october and go on till a few days after Oct'15th. This results in the holidays stretching on, unofficially.

September is all about navratras, ramzan, durga puja and this year Dussehra too seems to be falling in Sept. Which is why most students have already returned to their home towns. So unofficially yesterday was the last teaching day in this term. And since diwali is on Oct'17th and bhai-dooj a few days after that, the kids won't be returning before Oct'20th. That's practically a month of holidays for them! Ofcourse it's never enough as they were quick enough to remind me that last year the lunar calendar granted them a little more than 4o days of festivities! Needless to say I, for my part, am going to miss them alot, you can't help but grow fond of them.

Yesterday D's boss was on leave. So we had one of those once-in-a-very-long-time relaxed days. Had lunch at the india islamic cultural centre, which has an excellent restaurant, they cook some of the nicest indian food. Then walked down to Eatopia at the habitat centre, where we leisurely munched over some chocolate truffle. And checked out what was going on in terms of plays, movies etc. Just going to IHC can have such a soothing effect on your nerves, what with it's eco-friendly design. I wish I could have a home like that one day.

After that we went to Dilli Haat. That is one place we've never needed a reason to go to. There's always something to do there. Just walk amongst the stalls selling indian handicrafts - looking at some bits of silver jewellery or kurtas or silks or wood carvings or the lovely madhubani painting etc. In recent times it's become rare that we've picked up something, mostly because it's the same old stuff (for us) and slightly because, on the rare occassions that we have infact liked something, the seller has been more busy wooing americans/europeans! We did however stop at every single stall, D made sure of it. When we got tired, it was time for some momos at the Sikkim food stall (there is no better place for momos there). You know the sauce they serve them with, the one that's made up of red chillies and very little of anything else? Well, more or less it is spicy/hot to the same extent. Knowing which, D very confidently put five spoonfuls of it in each of our plates. After the first bite however, all we could say was "what have they put in this thing?!!" It was just so spicy. More hot than any chilli-based sauce or pickle I've ever had. We had tears running down our eyes, and running noses, and even then we couldn't resist it.

Eventually we picked up a whole lot of candles and diyas (lamps) for diwali from about half-a-dozen stalls of an association called 'Arunim' which works towards rehabilitation of mentally challenged people - it is an indirect initiative of the ministry of social justice and empowerment - infact the reason the stalls were so good this time was because this fornight they seem to have been given out to craftsmen identified under the same criteria. D & I usually do our diwali shopping together, looking for the best bargains, and we can confidently say their stuff was the prettiest we have seen in years. Bought some diyas handpainted pink, blue, green with sequins and what not.

It's safe to say that the festive spirit is well in the air. We went and watched 'Ramayan' a few days back at the Shri ram bhartiya kala kendra. It's one of the two main epics of hinduism. Basically Lord Ram did a whole lot of good deeds, and in the end killed the evil Ravana and returned home after 14 yrs of exile. Their 'Ram' wasn't as good as the previous ones we've seen but well the whole experience nevertheless was nice. The choreography, colours, costumes... AND the best part was at the end, at the exit there was this guy selling kiddy bow & arrows, swords and 'gadaa' (I am struggling to recall what it's called in english - is it a club?) - you know, the kinds they make out of cardboard, and then cover with alot of colourful chartpapers/cellophane sheets. And they fill the hollow part of the club with some stones or such-like, so that when you shake it, it makes that sound! I can't remember the last time I saw these things! I recall they used to be so popular when we stayed with my grandfather (before we left for muscat), and every year these sellers would ride on their bicycles through the streets, with these 'toys' mounted on a stand which was somehow fixed on to their bikes. That was easily 15 years back, if not more. RG & I were just so kicked to see them again! We,like the rest of the 5-10 yr olds there, surrounded that fellow and asked/haggled the price! We are now the proud owners of the biggest bow, one dozen paper arrows, and a smaller 'gadaa' :D Aah Fun-ness!

Yesterday there were garba/dandiya celebrations in our neighbourhood. In the garba, you use your hands to clap as you turn and twirl in circular formations which can be made of hundreds of people at a go. In the dandiya, you use wooden sticks instead. There's a vey distinct beat, to which you can only do the garba/dandiya, and nothing else!

It's the end of navratras today. Probably the enitre nation will be eating chana-puri-halwa! It also marks the end of 9 days of "no non-veg"! Ask anyone and they will tell you how much stronger the craving for any kind of non-veg is during the navratras!

Tomorrow is Dusshera. There will be huge effigies of Ravana (the evil demon) constructed everywhere, with 11 heads since he had so many of them, and they will be filled with fircrackers. In the evening, at the auspiciously determined time, all of them will be set to fire, thus marking the victory of good over evil. Diwali comes 20 days after Dussehra, when Lord Rama finally returned home - that's when we light the candles and lamps. More on that in 20 days time.

End of a something

Surprise farewell from my students. Present, flowers, cake...I was overwhelmed!

It's amazing how efficient the student grapevine is. Even before I entered college, it seems the SRCC kids told the LSR ones about my appointment there, so I had to deal with a lot of 'whyyyy them?' issues!

Administration hassled me no end. But today, I fought back. Infact I reasoned, argued, screamed at everyone who tried to tell me my 'right' - which I am very clear about and which they are trying to fudge. I especially hate it when the inefficient admin staff talks to me. Just told them to shut up. I only speak to the HoD and Principal, not irrelevant incompetent idiots. I mean, give me a break. I can't take nonsense from everyone only because they are men and/or older to me. I don't function that way.

So, new beginnings from monday. Past few days have been so exhausting that they've almost taken away the feeling of jubilation that should have been there, but well I have the weekend to get it back.

Aur ab koi mujhse panga le kar dekhe...kutte kahin ke.

Changes

I am super duper proud of myself :D
Just like I was last year when they appointed me at LSR. Moving on to the sister concern now. (Brother concern is more like it!).

Change has been set into motion. Just when I was craving for it.

September memories

"Wake me up, when september end.." - A friend had this as her status message on facebook today. I totally second that thought.

Today has been an unusually nostalgic day. The weather was perfect - cloudy skies, rains and good strong post-rain winds.

September means realising that we are nearing the end of the year. It means way too many birthdays to remember - and all of people who are very very close to me. From last year it also means AB's loss.

But over and above that, September will always and forever remind me of one day in particular, just like it did today.

There was a wedding

There was an insane downpour

There were friends and professors

all dressed up

There was a boy

walking my way

An unexpected hug

Incredulous looks all around

Damp locks

Beige-and-White

You were there

That was enough

It was then

that I knew

and it's been a long

long time

since that day.

The surprising thing is, that memory still makes me smile.

...Hindustani naam hamara hai...

Happy 62nd independence day! It is going to rain today. Atleast there's one FM station playing songs to suit the mood. So you can taste a little bit of A.R.Rahman's 'maa tujhe salaam' for starters ...

A R Rehman - Maa T...

I remember talking to the lambu yesterday about why eventually I would like to settle down in India. Sure there are plenty of moments when this country/city drives me insane. The States presents the exact opposite in terms of conveniences, infrastructure and I suppose even a better civic sense. Those could be sufficient conditions for a good life but I don't feel they are the always the necessary ones.

How free are we today? We've come a long way since 1947. But as MG said, every freedom also requires some discipline. Possibly we're not as disciplined? (More on this later.)

Anyhow, I like it how 15th August reminds me of reasons why I love being in this country.

The sounds of ghunghroos, of a shehnai, of a koel...

the crowds that make the country work (and sometimes get in the way!)

the colours - reds & oranges for every festival and weddings... And the palette you get to witness in places like Rajasthan.

the emotions - for everything ranging from cricket to politics to religion

the plethore of sights, traditions, festivals, seasons, history - how for almost everything there's a celebration bringing together dozens of extended family members. I like the kites that dot the skies today. The best part is that everyone participates, irrespective of the size of their bank account. The size of sweet boxes and kites might differ, but they are there all the same.

Yeh Jo Des Hai Ter...

Aug'15th brings the same feelings I get every time I see an army truck, every time I pass by India Gate, every time I hear my most favourite independence-related song - "ae mere pyare watan..."

Ae Mere Pyaare Wat...

I remember how at school, every independence day they would recite Tagore's famous words -

Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Today does something to my insides. I can't really express it. I can only feel it. And so, from our country, Happy 15th August to you.

15th Aug @ College

All through my school and university years I never ever understood what the Independence Day celebrations were meant to signify. I remember having to stand through seemingly endless morning assemblies at school. The numerous speeches about the freedom struggle, Gandhiji etc. year after year would just seem so boring. It felt as though people couldn't get enough of preaching to us. Later, in University I don't think I attended a single Independence Day celebration.
All that changed last year, once I began teaching. Maybe it's because being on other side of the classroom brings you closer to some of the action. I like it how the flag pole is draped in garlands of Marigold flowers. And how the rose petals fall through as the flag unfurls. (In school I recall how the flag would get stuck and just not unfurl!) Standing erect for the national anthem. But more than that, it's this one feeling I've experienced only at LSR - a place which truly celebrates freedom. Where every 'speech' is geared to appeal to the sensibilites of both, the students & teachers - both primarily women. I'm proud of how the NCC cadets occupy a place of pride at the flag hoisting ceremony. I find it almost freaky when the indian music society sing 'bharat humko jaan se pyaara hai' and I can feel goosebumps right down to my toes.



Where I can see every single traditional dance from the country and yet not get enough of the diversity. Where my eyes well up with tears when they play the NDTV movie 'Remembering Kargil'. And where I can scream, shout, hoot and clap along with the students as I see a slideshow of images (Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire - Meera Kumar the country's first LS speaker - the solar eclispe - Abhinav Bindra's Gold at the Olympics - pictures of rural empowerment etc) set to the tune of A.R.Rahman's 'Ma tujhe salaam'.

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(The video's beautiful too.)

Those two hours of assembly stayed with me all day long. I felt proud, of being a woman in my country today.
P.S. went to CP later with JS. Did shopping. Ate chowmein. Got a call from lambu engineer, he's in town. Might meet up tomorrow.

Tip tip tip tip baarish!!

It has rained!!! :D

Yesterday my students didn't want class because it was too hot. And today, because it was raining! Lucky for them they know my weakness for the monsoon! But jokes apart, we did have class... the way DU college are constructed there are plenty of windows and wide doors through which the rain comes pouring right into the class....sweet sweet sweet!

Didn't want to let the rains go to waste, soooo...got drenched....when the salwaar gets stuck to your ankles, and little bits of sand enter the sandals, and the water drips from the edges of the umbrella onto the bags and books and self....If I didn't have the books & papers, I would have dispensed with the umbrella entirely!

Rains remind me of several things. The way we would run away from the auditorium (Choreo practice) into the HC lawns at DU. How pleasant the Shahjahan-Aurangzeb Road stretch looks (bus route 621) with its neem trees forming the prettiest of canopye across the two sides of the road. And how romantic JNU is when it rains :)

At the end of it all, I like the warmth that comes when you change into a fresh dry pair of clothes.

The day that was...

It's the day after Rakhi, and all day I have been genuinely feeling that we Need a holiday the day After the festival. Seriously! It's not a 'want', it's a basic 'need'. Or we just need to change the way we celebrate festivals in (atleast) this city. And RG still owes me....!

Anyhow, back to yesterday. Woke up super early. Got ready. Realised that the new kurta was wearable (can be altered later!) but the salwaar was big. Still wore it though :) Put the sweets etc in different bags. Also packed some of RG's things for the hostel. Tried charging the cellphone as much as was possible. Picked up all the stuff, got into the car, and we began to drive to my Baba's house. On the way I realised I had forgotten the Rakhis at home!! I did kick myself, as much as was possible. I mean, no one does that! Not if you're the sister and you have something like ten brothers to tie rakhis to!!! Turning back was not an option, given the extra insane traffic on a festival like this one.

So we snaked our way from south delhi to north-west. Took about 2 hours. Spent an hour Bua's house. Then it took us another half an hour to my taiji's house, where again we spent about an hour. And then another 30 mins to finally reach baba's house, where we spent 30 mins. At every house we had to drink water, then drink soft drinks/tea, and then eat sweets along with aaloo-puri, or aaloo-chhole. Trust me, even though the women in our family are excellent cooks, it was pleasant only the first time. Oh, as for my cousin brothers, well for once I really wish they would take the initiative and get me something nice! I mean, it's not bad to get the money, but getting a present has a totally different kind of charm to it. (and not a present that their mothers' pick for me - things I can never ever wear/use!). Got lots of chocolate hampers though :D

From north-west dilli, we moved towards the hospital. Another 1.5 hours on the road and not a single nice song on the radio. At the hosp, RG had just gotten off duty, so half an hour later, we finally set out for naani's house - another 45 mins! I entered their house, and crashed on the bed in an AC room. I felt tired and all ickky in the hot weather. Amazing lunch (again aaloo-puri) awaited us. After which other distant relatives began arriving. RG was pretty generous this year round, atleast to L! More than even what maamu was to ma! Lol!! We stayed there for dinner and watched 'Step-Up 2' and 'Confessions of a shopaholic' (the guy in it is so cuuute!)- yes, chick flicks I know, but my brain by then could only process those. Left at 9 P.M, reached home at 11. Only to realise I started with classes in the morning today, and not the afternoon as I had thought. As if that was not enough, I also realised that the 3-day weekend I'd been looking forward to is the next weekend, not this one. You cannot imagine the degree to which my mood plummetted then.

Woke up today morning, grumbling all the while about the uselessness of having tutorials in the first half of the day! (Ma & papa conveniently ignored me!). I was tired all day at college. Sleepy too. And I had to prepare the lectures too. Managed somehow. Plus it was JS' birthday, how could I not have known?! Arranged for a little something for her from all of us in the dept. I've also been missing prag and nam, now that they've moved to other colleges....

Oh, and yesterday, after ages, I spoke to S. He's started using terms of endearment while he talks to both P & me! Lol! Spoke to P today morning, and we decided it's best we enjoy it while it lasts!!

Phew...that's about it I think. To quote someone, I don't even know how I could punch in these, blame yourself for that :)

RakshBandhan 2009

Tomorrow is Rakshabhandhan, also known as just 'Rakhi'. It symbolises the bond between a brother and sister. It also, in some ways, marks the beginning of festivals which will go on till October or so.

As is our habit, we finished our shopping for sweets, cookies etc at 10 P.M. tonight. And as has become the norm, apparently so did everyone else! There was the usual mad rush of people and cars and cranky children in the markets, associated with any festival in this country. Plus women getting 'mehendi' (henna) designs made on their palms - can you imagine paying Rs.100 for each hand??! It's insane!

So I've stocked up the Rakhis. The markets have stalls lined with all kinds of rakhis - simple read & yellow threads, to all kinds of fancy ones which seem way too fancy! It's amazing how tomorrow morning, every man who has a sister will have one, or several threads tied around his wrist. Either before you leave home for work, or on your way to work, brothers and sisters meet up. The tying of a rakhi stands for a sister's prayer for her brother's long life as he promises to stand by her & take care of her.

Ofcourse it goes well beyond that. It's how all our relatives and their families meet at my grandfather's house. And how there are tons of sweets and hampers that are exchanged. The chaos and lunacy....and the torture brothers' put their sisters' through for that surprise 'present'! :D I can't think of a single time RG didn't BUG me (except for when we were very very little!). By the end of the day it's difficult not to get irked, seeing how he showers all of his cousin sisters with things and doesn't even utter a word about what he's got me!! Lol!!

Oh, and after several years, I have got myself something new to wear tomorrow! And yes, it's a chhutti (how can it not be, in an all-girls' college!).

And well, I am reminded of the song...'phoolon ka, taaron ka, sabka kehna hai..."!