Spent the last weekend in NYC. I don't know what it is about that city, but it makes me feel alive. I love the crowds, the traffic, the cabs and concrete! It did involve missing a day of classes but something made me feel it's something i needed to do. Pampered the self by travelling in style :p I could walk in nyc all day, for days together, and not get tired. And if I had the money, I could shop that much too :) Guppy's all set to start his undergrad there. He seemed awed and anxious. Reminded me of when RG & I had joined the hostel. Spoke to him about it though. I don't think anything would have helped him feel better, but still, sometimes it's nice to just hear things. I guess. I saw statues, museums, parks and ofcourse did a fair bit of shopping. I can't wait to go back.

We also went to the ashram at Walden. That too seems to hold a different significance now that I'm away from home. Isn't it strange how you try to hold on to things you otherwise wouldn't? I suppose that's when you realise the true meaning of such things.

The weather in Ith has been beautiful. It's gotten a little chilly but the breeze is wonderful. Watched Forrest Gump with the neighbour. Was reminded of the times Ma & I would watch it together. And as always that movie spoke volumes to me. Have also been initiated in Salsa classes on campus. I realised just how much I missed dancing! I love how it just takes me to this whole other plane, and I can just forget about classes/assignments/etc.

Speaking of classes, they're pretty good :) I'm not entirely blank. Just wish the micro prof was better. He's cute though. But well, that's not going to help us is it? :p

Our study group is a completely different matter! Lol! More on that some other time.

There are way too many important birthdays in the month of September. Looks like this weekend is going to be all about calling up Laavan, AB and some others. Oh and apparently Div's wedding date has been decided upon.... we need to talk :)

I was a mess today morning. I just kept crying the whole time. Then I pushed myself to go out to the mall here. It was nice. Well, we got a whole load of freebies, including some very essential ones :D :D

Came back and I just broke down again. I couldn't help myself.

I then had to decide whether or not to go for this dept picnic we were having today. Spoke to a few people, who apparently had decided not to go. I almost didn't go. But something told me it would be better than sitting in my room and becoming even more miserable. So I went. And it was really nice. It was at a prof's place. Which was in the middle of nowhere. You could see the cayuga lake in the distance, and friendly green trees, and people, all around. And tons of food. I found myself laughing, genuinely, for the first time in a few days. Met alot of new people, had conversations with a few I'd met before. It was nice.

Some of us then got a ride back to campus to go for a get-together for new indian students. That was nice too! To meet your own kind and praise/crib/b**** about anything and everything, was nice. There was food and drinks. And punjabi and hindi music. Which I heard after more than a month. So I found myself singing along, and dancing to songs which I would have otherwise hated.

I realised that such days will come again. I know they will. But I know now that it's upto me, to let them get to me. Or to try to get out of it. It's not easy. But I guess like everything else, that's what makes it worth it.

I've been putting off writing this post for a long long time. Can't hold it in any longer I guess :(

The last few weeks have been simply exhausting. To the point where if someone mentions the words 'shopping' or 'lets meet sometime' I automatically say a 'no'. I have no energy left to think of a day, time and place that would be mutually convenient. Plus the heat wave acts as a natural deterrent.

I've said my goodbyes. To friends. Family. Family friends (and I realised they are more family than friends - something I didn't admit to earlier). I've eaten all my favourite foods everywhere I went. I've received some really nice presents too. I've been hugged and kissed a zillion times and been wished goodluck, do well, take care of yourself.

The thing is, this whole leaving-home process really makes you realise just how many people and places and things make up your life. I've been trying to squeeze mine into a few weeks and I still have a long list of people who I know I won't get to meet in time. That makes me sad.

I'm done with all the shopping and in a day or two the bags should be packed. I know once I reach there, all the new stuff I have will not matter. The clothes, shoes and whatnot will not be half as nice as all of my old stuff put together back home.

My parents are having a tough time too. The whole letting-go process. Mom's been way too hyper (emotionally and otherwise). Dad's barely saying anything these days. It's draining at times, to be able to talk to them while keeping everything light and funny and convincing them that they'll be ok. That I'll be ok.

Actually it's the grandparents also. hmm ... I find it amusing though, how my grandfather always gives me this one piece of warning - 'shikaayat nahin aani chahiye wahan se' (they shouldn't complain about you there) - I got to hear this when I was in school. Then when I joined college. Even when I began to work! And now again ... :)

But the truth is, I'm very scared too. I know I have people there for me, and a whole lot of other resources and that I will be crazy busy sooner than later. But I'm still scared. I don't want to leave. My family. Grandparents. Home. City. Country. I'm going to miss so many things about this random insane infuriating country! The noise. The neem trees. The monsoons. The festivals. The people, my people. The monuments. The travels. Actually alot more. I just can't seem to write it all down right now.

I'm realising that maybe Aerosmith's 'Dont wanna miss a thing' was written & sung for such moments ... damn them.

Oh btw, did I mention I went shopping a few days back? After ages, I shopped, shopped and shopped till I really couldn't stand anymore! I tried on a zillion clothes, felt super nice in most of them, rejected almost all because they were too big, and ended up buying a few. I bought some really nice stuff this time! And I'm not yet :p

Economist? Me?!

I feel there has been utterly and completely no use of me having studied economics. None at all. I went on an insane shopping spree yesterday. I am embarassed to even list all all the stuff I bought. I really felt like that girl from 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' when she goes to buy that green scarf - where even the mannequins begin talking to you! Oh and as for things like debit/credit cards, they are not meant for people like me. I practically bankrupted myself! So not good. But well, I just couldn't help it!! It was just one of those days when I found clothes I liked, in my size (which is a very big deal when you're as small as I am), in colours I like and styles I wear. So like I said, I just couldn't help it. Plus I was accompanied by my darling cousin L who very patiently convinced me that "it's looking good Didi, I think you should definitely take it."

At times like these I really do love my friend :p They were 'proud' of me (haha). And said it's ok since I 'hardly' splurge on 'myself'.... which isn't entirely untrue you know!

L came over to stay on saturday after all of us attended another music concert, this time by the Isha Foundation. I won't say much except that the music was good. And yummy chaat afterwards!

Basically, good weekend. Especially the crazy banter between RG & L :D

Dhan Te Nan...!!

I have had an amazing weekend. And thanks to an unrelenting downpour & an auto strike, there's no way to get to work today. I'm not sure how happy I am about it since I do begin to miss my college if the weekend extends beyond the usual two days. But well, yes, I am a little happy nonetheless!
So, firstly, please please please watch Kaminey. Finally a Bollywood movie which comes close to being 'different'. Fast paced, good songs, and quite a diversity of characters. Especially in the end when they all come together. Nice!
That apart, since RG was at home this weekend (he's finally done with his Medicine posting), we caught up on alot of things and Ma cooked all his favourite food ;) Saturday, maamu & his family came over for dinner. We all sat at the dining table, with lots of papads, popcorn, sprout salad, seekh-kebabas, and something to drink for everyone. Then began the characteristic singing activity, with (but ofcourse) maamu taking the lead. He & Ma sang many bhajans and Ghalib's prose (?). It gets really funny because they get these looks of professional singers on their faces, and add some emotion to it too, and just about manage to hold the tune! My maami is the only one who can sing in our family, but the rest are definitely not lacking in enthusiasm. RG recited some lines by Keats. He then had to recite them again three times since ma & maamu found them to be too profound and hence needed some time to figure out what Keats could have possibly been trying to convey. Dinner was good too, except everyone was already full with the snacks... And once the clock struck 11 P.M , ma began initiating the goodbyes which in typical Indian way carried on till atleast 11.30!
Sunday was spent shopping - for spectacles. All four of us in the family wear glasses. So they form a large part of our annual investments. Since this was the independence day weekend, about half a dozen places were offering some really good deals, so we decided to check them out. Surprisingly we managed to get ourselves something of our liking, all in one day! I finally gave in and bought a rimless frame - it has taken me months to get around to this, but seeing how the matrimony market functions, it's time we played by the rules. Although I still don't get it. Wearing specs is not a disease. And who doesn't wear them today? And please, don't even begin talking about contacts - I don't understand society's obsession with them. Actually I just can't buy how people are ready to confirm to common ideas of what looks good (in this case). And they propogate it in such a matter-of-fact way that I don't even think they realise that they are espousing views that they hold just to be a part of the collective.
Everyone has to dress the same, talk in the same way, behave in the same way, look the same - someone please tell me why. On second thoughts, don't.