Ufff...

I Just Don't Know....how things will ever work out, if they ever do. I don't see things working out in the way I had hoped they would. For alot of reasons. And I don't want to talk about it to anyone at all.

It's odd really, sometimes I feel I don't even know the real me...and I know that sometimes I make it really difficult for the other person to get to know the real me. For instance, right now there is someone who is trying his best to get through to me, even though honestly I'm the one who has pissed him off...and even then I'm not able talk to him. It's not as though he's a stranger or something, but I'm just completely unable to tell him whats going on. And that's not because of him though. I suppose it's just me.... reminds me of the Dipsite '...we are like this only...'... Except that I'm NOT like this!! I had always always always thought that if and when someone would be extra nice to me/care about me/all those other things, that I would have liked all of that attention/flattery etc.... but apparently even such things take time to get used to. And I don't know how much time I need/will take. And I don't know how much time I have.

Ufff...Would have gone to naani's, but this time it won't help since they all will just talk about the marriage. Especially since S***'s has just been fixed a few days back, which in effect leaves me with no buffer against the shaadi talk.

Can't wait to go to the Ashram this time...