Economist? Me?!

I feel there has been utterly and completely no use of me having studied economics. None at all. I went on an insane shopping spree yesterday. I am embarassed to even list all all the stuff I bought. I really felt like that girl from 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' when she goes to buy that green scarf - where even the mannequins begin talking to you! Oh and as for things like debit/credit cards, they are not meant for people like me. I practically bankrupted myself! So not good. But well, I just couldn't help it!! It was just one of those days when I found clothes I liked, in my size (which is a very big deal when you're as small as I am), in colours I like and styles I wear. So like I said, I just couldn't help it. Plus I was accompanied by my darling cousin L who very patiently convinced me that "it's looking good Didi, I think you should definitely take it."

At times like these I really do love my friend :p They were 'proud' of me (haha). And said it's ok since I 'hardly' splurge on 'myself'.... which isn't entirely untrue you know!

L came over to stay on saturday after all of us attended another music concert, this time by the Isha Foundation. I won't say much except that the music was good. And yummy chaat afterwards!

Basically, good weekend. Especially the crazy banter between RG & L :D

IPTA - Lost Songs of the Freedom Struggle

IPTA (Indian Peoples Theatre Association) has been in existence since the 1940s, with the aim of expanding the scope of participatory democracy beyond the political processes at the parliament. While it has been involved in dance, theatre, music, and photography, the songs composed and sung by IPTA stalwarts during the independence struggle got lost somewhere along the way.

I first heard of IPTA during my undergrad years, and later at JNU where alot of students were involved I knew were involved withit. I was surprised to know that one of our own faculty members, infact from our department, has been researching these songs for the past 3-4 yrs. She recently performed at IIC/IHC etc, and today the ensemble played at college too - Dr.S.D., Deepak Castelleno on guitar (and banjo!), and Tapan Mallik on the Cello.

The songs were in Hindi, Urdu, Punjabi, Malayalam and Telugu. They centered around themes of both resistance and celebrations - the 1940s & '50s - the Bengal Famine of 1943, the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, the Telangana movement in Andhra Pradesh, the Second World War and the communal violence in the wake of the Partition of India. They were beautiful.

Probably because of their simplicity - both, the lyrics and music was such that it just resonated in your heart. She sang a beautiful "heer" (a Punjabi song) on the Bengal famine, in a manner that it is apparently sung on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border. It was just so haunting. She also recalled singing Mekhdoom Mohiuddin's 'Jaane waale sipahi se puchho' at Khalsa College right after the Anti-Sikh riots in the country (1984) and how the music had a cathartic effect on the people gathered there.

At the end of the show she asked Deepak & Tapan to play some music which the audience had to guess. All of us strained to figure out the soulful music that played and gradually halfway through it everyone began to stand up - it was the national anthem! Now the thing is, the latter half of it was the Indian anthem, and the first half was the Pakistani national anthem (the part we couldn't figure out) - I cannot tell you how lovely the entire composition was. Have been trying to find it online but no luck so far. (Madan Gopal was the composer).

Muuuuuzik

Sweetness. The music scene in the city has finally begun again.

Attended a performance by Pt.Birju Maharaj and his son Deepak Maharaj today. The son is Good! And Panditji was as adorable as ever. Also at the same programme, Pt.Shiv Kumar Sharma played the santoor - I've never heard it live before, and I loved every note he played. Both were accompanied by Pt.Yogesh Samsi, who has been trained by the great Ustad Alla Rakha.... yes the evening was very very delightful.

SPIC MACAY inaugurates it's season this 27th with Pt.Hariprasad Chaurasia :) I am reminded of last year when RG & I went all the way to north campus for it... am hopeful we both will find the time for it this time too...

Delhiites just CAN'T switch off their cellphones at music concerts. Just Can't.

Too sleepy to write more.

Econ, death, walks etc

Attended a fantastic lecture by Amit Bhaduri yesterday, on his Vision for India in 2047, at the IIC. Needless to say it was every bit worth it. He spoke about how the forces of globalisation essentially imply a focus on the external markets as a source of economic growth. And how, he feels, we need to instead look at

1. internal sources of demand stimulus
2. greater financial autonomy to the Panchayats
3. Sustainable employment opportunities for the poorest

to generate a self sustaining growth strategy. 'Resistance and reconstruction' is what he called it, in context of the recent cases of agricultural land being acquired for purposes of industrialisation.

I also realised how much clearer my concepts have become since I've begun teaching. That ofcourse made me quite happy.

On a second note, we've had some sudden bad news. When the parents were in Hungary last month, they met a Gujju family there - a young couple and their two very youg kids - based in Dubai. It seems the man met with an accident last weekend and passed away. I haven't ever met them, but even then my parents gave such a vivid account of how they travelled together for a few days etc, that I did feel saddened by the news.

It also made me realise, not for the first time, how much I/we take things for granted. Odd that it takes such news to put things into perspective. I'm sure there must be other ways since I've had more than my share of death-related news in the recent past.

Thirdly, the evening walks/jogs have begun again. Don't you just love the feel of a pair of brand new sneakers? I am seriously tempted to wear them to work as well.... I'm so reminded of the college days right now :D

PLEASE

Ok, so I know there are a whole load of inefficiencies in this country. And we find a way to live with them/get around them. But today, for once, please world, just give me a break.

I have had classes since morning. I then return at 4, to pick up a recharge coupon for my cellphone. Nothing extraordinary in that. Except that instead of charging it at the shop itself (which is what I usually do), I bring it home. I was thinking of escaping the heat, and thinking that seriously nothing could go wrong with it. But well....I scratch the damn thing to get the recharge pin code, and guess what - IT ISN'T THERE.

I honestly am in no mood to go back to that guy, and ask him to fix this problem. He'll say it's my fault/he can't do anything about it/it's the company's fault etc etc etc. And yet, if I don't go back to him I will just keep getting more and more pissed off about the entire matter thinking about how I couldn't set it right.

.

.

Flooded!

Everything about the weather here was normal till yesterday afternoon. Then my cousin sister and my nephew came over, bringing with them 'pleasant' weather - the nice pre-monsoon breeze and tons of clouds.

Then it began to rain. Then in poured. So much that we couldn't see a single thing from the windows except for a white sheet of rain. And then it began it creep into the house.

We live on the 6th floor, so unlike M's low-lying ground-floor house we never really considered the possibility of our house being flooded. But well, it was. All of it except RG's & my room.

It was fun, to be honest :) The nephew & I had been barefoot till then ( seriously, who in this awful weather would not take advantage of the cool farsh). We put on our chappals and went chhapp-chhapp all over the house! Now that I think of it, we should have remained barefoot, but the chappals make a better sound.

Anyway then we spent about 30-45 mins trying to push the water out through the two balconies, and the main staircase outside. Brooms, mops, old towels, newspapers...Phew!

I want

Less noise

Fewer People

More humility

Less traffic

Nicer Climate

Practical timetables

Efficient services

Drivers who use indicators and not their arms to signal where they want to go

Less Honking

Students who think for themselves

Had a Want-to-punch-everyone-who-comes-in-my-way day. Too much. Just Too Much. TGIF tomorrow.

"Ma'am, have you seen Kaminey?"

"Yes, I have."

"Ma'am, wasn't it just awefome??!" :D

Throat's been hurting for a while now. Feeling not too well.

There's been an auto strike for two days now. Entire public transport system has come to a standstill. Private cabs charging as much as Rs.350 for roughly 10 kms - highway robbery!! Anyhow hopefully things will get back to normal from tomorrow.

And well, The PhD Project has begun.

Dhan Te Nan...!!

I have had an amazing weekend. And thanks to an unrelenting downpour & an auto strike, there's no way to get to work today. I'm not sure how happy I am about it since I do begin to miss my college if the weekend extends beyond the usual two days. But well, yes, I am a little happy nonetheless!
So, firstly, please please please watch Kaminey. Finally a Bollywood movie which comes close to being 'different'. Fast paced, good songs, and quite a diversity of characters. Especially in the end when they all come together. Nice!
That apart, since RG was at home this weekend (he's finally done with his Medicine posting), we caught up on alot of things and Ma cooked all his favourite food ;) Saturday, maamu & his family came over for dinner. We all sat at the dining table, with lots of papads, popcorn, sprout salad, seekh-kebabas, and something to drink for everyone. Then began the characteristic singing activity, with (but ofcourse) maamu taking the lead. He & Ma sang many bhajans and Ghalib's prose (?). It gets really funny because they get these looks of professional singers on their faces, and add some emotion to it too, and just about manage to hold the tune! My maami is the only one who can sing in our family, but the rest are definitely not lacking in enthusiasm. RG recited some lines by Keats. He then had to recite them again three times since ma & maamu found them to be too profound and hence needed some time to figure out what Keats could have possibly been trying to convey. Dinner was good too, except everyone was already full with the snacks... And once the clock struck 11 P.M , ma began initiating the goodbyes which in typical Indian way carried on till atleast 11.30!
Sunday was spent shopping - for spectacles. All four of us in the family wear glasses. So they form a large part of our annual investments. Since this was the independence day weekend, about half a dozen places were offering some really good deals, so we decided to check them out. Surprisingly we managed to get ourselves something of our liking, all in one day! I finally gave in and bought a rimless frame - it has taken me months to get around to this, but seeing how the matrimony market functions, it's time we played by the rules. Although I still don't get it. Wearing specs is not a disease. And who doesn't wear them today? And please, don't even begin talking about contacts - I don't understand society's obsession with them. Actually I just can't buy how people are ready to confirm to common ideas of what looks good (in this case). And they propogate it in such a matter-of-fact way that I don't even think they realise that they are espousing views that they hold just to be a part of the collective.
Everyone has to dress the same, talk in the same way, behave in the same way, look the same - someone please tell me why. On second thoughts, don't.

...Hindustani naam hamara hai...

Happy 62nd independence day! It is going to rain today. Atleast there's one FM station playing songs to suit the mood. So you can taste a little bit of A.R.Rahman's 'maa tujhe salaam' for starters ...

A R Rehman - Maa T...

I remember talking to the lambu yesterday about why eventually I would like to settle down in India. Sure there are plenty of moments when this country/city drives me insane. The States presents the exact opposite in terms of conveniences, infrastructure and I suppose even a better civic sense. Those could be sufficient conditions for a good life but I don't feel they are the always the necessary ones.

How free are we today? We've come a long way since 1947. But as MG said, every freedom also requires some discipline. Possibly we're not as disciplined? (More on this later.)

Anyhow, I like it how 15th August reminds me of reasons why I love being in this country.

The sounds of ghunghroos, of a shehnai, of a koel...

the crowds that make the country work (and sometimes get in the way!)

the colours - reds & oranges for every festival and weddings... And the palette you get to witness in places like Rajasthan.

the emotions - for everything ranging from cricket to politics to religion

the plethore of sights, traditions, festivals, seasons, history - how for almost everything there's a celebration bringing together dozens of extended family members. I like the kites that dot the skies today. The best part is that everyone participates, irrespective of the size of their bank account. The size of sweet boxes and kites might differ, but they are there all the same.

Yeh Jo Des Hai Ter...

Aug'15th brings the same feelings I get every time I see an army truck, every time I pass by India Gate, every time I hear my most favourite independence-related song - "ae mere pyare watan..."

Ae Mere Pyaare Wat...

I remember how at school, every independence day they would recite Tagore's famous words -

Where the mind is without fear and the head held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by Thee into ever-widening thought and action;
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Today does something to my insides. I can't really express it. I can only feel it. And so, from our country, Happy 15th August to you.

(Late) aao, khao, piyo, khisko

It was written that I meet lambu engineer today. Honestly. Considering that till last evening I was contemplating flying out to Bangalore.
A little bit of history is in order. I met the lambu several years back. I don't know which/who I remember more fondly - the big box of chocolates, the person who sent them, or the lambu who got them! However some things about him stood out even then, just as they do today. Firstly (and obviously) the height. Secondly the non-stop chatter (mostly self-praise). Thirdly an awsome sense of humour/wit. And the ruthless teasing. (We can leave out the brains for now.)
Oh and well, he's never ever on time. Never. Not then, not now.
He's also very rude. And one shouldn't try to be nice to him because it just goes waste.

Anyhow, so, after changing the time and venue a several hundred times, his highness made an entrance late in the afternoon, for lunch. We had a mini debate about whether or not I would finance his alcohol (you see, I'm the employed one here.). Thankfully they didn't serve alcohol in the area we were sitting at. He obliged me by ordering the starters. For main course (trust him) we had butter chicken & naan. There's nothing wrong with that. Except I am always reminded of this one conversation I had with D, where we both agreed that this particular food should only be eaten at home, in your night clothes because it's impossible to eat it without everything getting messy. Which was pretty much what happened - atleast to me.
What did we talk about? Well work/studies. Pros and cons of living in the States. And the usual friendly banter (if I can call it that).
Oh, and either he has shrunk or I have become taller ;)

15th Aug @ College

All through my school and university years I never ever understood what the Independence Day celebrations were meant to signify. I remember having to stand through seemingly endless morning assemblies at school. The numerous speeches about the freedom struggle, Gandhiji etc. year after year would just seem so boring. It felt as though people couldn't get enough of preaching to us. Later, in University I don't think I attended a single Independence Day celebration.
All that changed last year, once I began teaching. Maybe it's because being on other side of the classroom brings you closer to some of the action. I like it how the flag pole is draped in garlands of Marigold flowers. And how the rose petals fall through as the flag unfurls. (In school I recall how the flag would get stuck and just not unfurl!) Standing erect for the national anthem. But more than that, it's this one feeling I've experienced only at LSR - a place which truly celebrates freedom. Where every 'speech' is geared to appeal to the sensibilites of both, the students & teachers - both primarily women. I'm proud of how the NCC cadets occupy a place of pride at the flag hoisting ceremony. I find it almost freaky when the indian music society sing 'bharat humko jaan se pyaara hai' and I can feel goosebumps right down to my toes.



Where I can see every single traditional dance from the country and yet not get enough of the diversity. Where my eyes well up with tears when they play the NDTV movie 'Remembering Kargil'. And where I can scream, shout, hoot and clap along with the students as I see a slideshow of images (Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire - Meera Kumar the country's first LS speaker - the solar eclispe - Abhinav Bindra's Gold at the Olympics - pictures of rural empowerment etc) set to the tune of A.R.Rahman's 'Ma tujhe salaam'.

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(The video's beautiful too.)

Those two hours of assembly stayed with me all day long. I felt proud, of being a woman in my country today.
P.S. went to CP later with JS. Did shopping. Ate chowmein. Got a call from lambu engineer, he's in town. Might meet up tomorrow.

Happy-10-years!

Apparently it's been ten years since blogging first began. Given that we get three newspapers at home, it's only natural that I discovered this bit of info. So, LiveMint is carrying out a series of articles regarding the same. The second one can be found here. Check their website for the other two, tomorrow and the day after.

Tip tip tip tip baarish!!

It has rained!!! :D

Yesterday my students didn't want class because it was too hot. And today, because it was raining! Lucky for them they know my weakness for the monsoon! But jokes apart, we did have class... the way DU college are constructed there are plenty of windows and wide doors through which the rain comes pouring right into the class....sweet sweet sweet!

Didn't want to let the rains go to waste, soooo...got drenched....when the salwaar gets stuck to your ankles, and little bits of sand enter the sandals, and the water drips from the edges of the umbrella onto the bags and books and self....If I didn't have the books & papers, I would have dispensed with the umbrella entirely!

Rains remind me of several things. The way we would run away from the auditorium (Choreo practice) into the HC lawns at DU. How pleasant the Shahjahan-Aurangzeb Road stretch looks (bus route 621) with its neem trees forming the prettiest of canopye across the two sides of the road. And how romantic JNU is when it rains :)

At the end of it all, I like the warmth that comes when you change into a fresh dry pair of clothes.

Munda(n)e

So, I think I've blogged about the monsoons having arrived about three times in the past. Well guess what, they are still not here. Today has been exceptionally bad. It was unbearably hot and humid. It completely drains you out. I had to drink 2 glasses of neembu-pani and 2 glasses of juice before going to take my first lecture. And the traffic just makes everything worse. It took me 45 mins to cover a distance of 7 kms... the only record that tops this one was two weeks back when it took me 2 hours.
We are going to be in big big trouble if things continue this way. There are water shortages and power failures all over the place. Worse, and more importantly, agriculture is in a crisis mode. To be fair, the agrarian crisis as of today was a disaster waiting to happen. With the pulling back of the State, over the past 10-15 yrs, on all accounts - subsidies, minimum support prices, credit etc - this year's lack of rains has aggravated the problem to a level where people have (finally) begun talking about it in their homes.
The swine flu has struck closer to home. Yesterday a girl from RG's batch of interns at his med school was hospitalised with possible symptoms of the s'flu. RG himself has been unwell this week. We've asked him to commute to the hospital from home for a while. The hospital, and a government one at that, would be the perfect place to catch the infection - the wards, the corridors, or even just his friends - everyone's associated with the same, high, density of people... We had been planning a family getaway to Lansdowne since it's going to be a three day weekend. That plan might just have to be abandoned now...

Allah Tero Naam

I was lying in bed today morning, soaking in the orange-yellow hues splayed across the walls of my room as the morning sun flitered through the curtains on the windows. I felt strangely at peace. And content. I began humming one of my favourite prayer songs - Allah tero naam.


(For an english translation, visit http://sacred-songs.blogspot.com/2007/06/allah-tero-naam.html)

I've never been a very religious person, a fact that can make it difficult to understand the religious fervour I often get to see in my country. I don't go temples unless I absolutely must (read pressure from Ma). And even then I prefer going to the ones which are the least crowded (In Delhi, just two - Birla Mandir, and Sai Baba's). I don't keep fasts. I don't even know the names and stories of all the Gods & Godesses we have - but I do know Lord Krishna is my favourite, and for me that's enough. I suppose it has to do with the atmosphere at home - my parents do believe in a God, and in doing good things and in staying honest. But it ends there. We've always had very very few rituals, ceremonies etc taking place at home. Somewhere science seems to have won over religion - something which Ma strives hard to correct, but we have a very long way to go. At the same time I find myself more open to the idea of going to the Ashram now than ever before. Considering Ma's side of the family has been involved with it since forever, you could say it's high time!

It took me a long time just to even acknowledge my faith in something/someone akin to God. Till I was at DU I felt that whatever happens to me is because of me, because of the choices I make for myself, the hardwork I do or do not put in. I still believe that. What has changed however is my acceptance of the fact that sometimes inspite of everything that I might think I control, things don't go my way - they turn out to be better or well, worse. In hindsight however I have always felt that what I had thought was the 'worse' was actually the 'better'. The need for faith also arises when I think of those times when I just could not understand why certain things happened the way they did - my accident, the surgery going wrong, the episode with C, the current nonsensical arranged marriage process, why AB's boyfriend had to die.....- and it is during those moments that the only thing I can do is to leave it all to someone/something else.

I don't know what prompted this blog. Maybe it's just having too many thoughts & ideas in my head about the kind of life I see for myself - and believing that there's nothing wrong with having all those ideas, and that it will work out when the time is right.

Slow saturday

This one's turning out to be a slow lazy saturday. I have the house to myself. The radio is playing the newest bollywood songs. I might add I really like Love Aajkal's 'aahoo aahoo...' (!) - complete punjabi masti with it's lyrics & beats. So much so that I couldn't resist dancing to it in the drawing room! Had (indian) Chinese for breakfast. Still wondering what to drink since I seem to have run out of key ingredients to make myself either a cold coffee or a glass of chocolate milk. Don't feel like going through today's newspapers at the moment. So that's been put off until later. Ditto for going through the half dozen books I borrowed from the library yesterday. Being a faculty entitles us to ten library cards - boy do I feel empowered! Procrastination seems to set in so easily on a weekend, and I am not going to fight it.

P.S. RG's rakhi from our cousins in the States arrived yesterday. A nice festive thaali, with the rakhi, tika and a small box of sweets! Booked online from California, order placed to Bombay, sweets would have had to come from Delhi...Where would we be without the wonders of globalisation?

gaane...

Been humming two songs all week long. After a very long time, Dire Straits' Romeo & Juliet - I won't get into which lines are my favourite since it's practically every single word! The other one is 'Used To' by Chris Daughtry (of American Idol fame...). Discovered it on the i-pod, and it's quite...hummable.

The day that was...

It's the day after Rakhi, and all day I have been genuinely feeling that we Need a holiday the day After the festival. Seriously! It's not a 'want', it's a basic 'need'. Or we just need to change the way we celebrate festivals in (atleast) this city. And RG still owes me....!

Anyhow, back to yesterday. Woke up super early. Got ready. Realised that the new kurta was wearable (can be altered later!) but the salwaar was big. Still wore it though :) Put the sweets etc in different bags. Also packed some of RG's things for the hostel. Tried charging the cellphone as much as was possible. Picked up all the stuff, got into the car, and we began to drive to my Baba's house. On the way I realised I had forgotten the Rakhis at home!! I did kick myself, as much as was possible. I mean, no one does that! Not if you're the sister and you have something like ten brothers to tie rakhis to!!! Turning back was not an option, given the extra insane traffic on a festival like this one.

So we snaked our way from south delhi to north-west. Took about 2 hours. Spent an hour Bua's house. Then it took us another half an hour to my taiji's house, where again we spent about an hour. And then another 30 mins to finally reach baba's house, where we spent 30 mins. At every house we had to drink water, then drink soft drinks/tea, and then eat sweets along with aaloo-puri, or aaloo-chhole. Trust me, even though the women in our family are excellent cooks, it was pleasant only the first time. Oh, as for my cousin brothers, well for once I really wish they would take the initiative and get me something nice! I mean, it's not bad to get the money, but getting a present has a totally different kind of charm to it. (and not a present that their mothers' pick for me - things I can never ever wear/use!). Got lots of chocolate hampers though :D

From north-west dilli, we moved towards the hospital. Another 1.5 hours on the road and not a single nice song on the radio. At the hosp, RG had just gotten off duty, so half an hour later, we finally set out for naani's house - another 45 mins! I entered their house, and crashed on the bed in an AC room. I felt tired and all ickky in the hot weather. Amazing lunch (again aaloo-puri) awaited us. After which other distant relatives began arriving. RG was pretty generous this year round, atleast to L! More than even what maamu was to ma! Lol!! We stayed there for dinner and watched 'Step-Up 2' and 'Confessions of a shopaholic' (the guy in it is so cuuute!)- yes, chick flicks I know, but my brain by then could only process those. Left at 9 P.M, reached home at 11. Only to realise I started with classes in the morning today, and not the afternoon as I had thought. As if that was not enough, I also realised that the 3-day weekend I'd been looking forward to is the next weekend, not this one. You cannot imagine the degree to which my mood plummetted then.

Woke up today morning, grumbling all the while about the uselessness of having tutorials in the first half of the day! (Ma & papa conveniently ignored me!). I was tired all day at college. Sleepy too. And I had to prepare the lectures too. Managed somehow. Plus it was JS' birthday, how could I not have known?! Arranged for a little something for her from all of us in the dept. I've also been missing prag and nam, now that they've moved to other colleges....

Oh, and yesterday, after ages, I spoke to S. He's started using terms of endearment while he talks to both P & me! Lol! Spoke to P today morning, and we decided it's best we enjoy it while it lasts!!

Phew...that's about it I think. To quote someone, I don't even know how I could punch in these, blame yourself for that :)