Today is one of those days when I just want to say so many things but I just am unable to. I'm unable to bring myself to talk to friends. Definitely not family. I thought I'd just tweet about it but even 140 characters seem too much to fill.
Hence this piece of writing is being directed at you.
God, I'm exhausted. I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm disappointed. Disillusioned too. If nothing is perfect then why do we take so much time to try and make it seem so? And for once please clarify, is love by itself enough? If so, how much enough is it? Because honestly I'm beginning to feel it just doesn't matter. And that's like going against everything I've believed in for a long long time.
Also dear God, why does it often make me feel so so so so stupid about myself? And why is it that even though I should be thinking using my brilliant mind, I instead almost always choose to take a chance on what the heart is saying? Which then obviously results in everything becoming a mess. Invariably.
And God, since we are at it, what is the big deal about love anyway? Please just take me back to the time when its presence or absence didn't even matter one bit. When guy-friends were really just friends. And you just couldn't even think of falling for one of them. When you didn't find any of them cute or funny or interesting or nice in that way. And when there just was no other non-friend guy worth liking.
Of course if a lot of these things are irreversible, in which case even you, God, can't transport me back to that time, then kindly remind cupid that I too exist. I might be very small compared to alot of other people, and I might lead a small life, but that doesn't diminish my existence or its value.
God, just between you and me, I have met someone. He's a great guy, differences n all. So if it's not meant to be, then God you'd better have a damn good reason for it.
That's about it from me. For now. Since you are who you are God, all channels of communication are open to you. So I shall wait for a sign.
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