Fed up

I've had it with the snow here. Honestly. Just because I have found it pretty and magical at times really doesn't mean I'm ok with seeing it, month after month. I am craving sunshine, like I've never craved for it before.

I have a prelim in half an hour. Econometrics. Enough said :p

My mind though, is just flooded with thoughts of who I have become. I feel like I've become the worst form of myself. And it's not nothing to do with the time of the month. I'm homesick. I miss my Ma. And then when I give her a call, I end up fighting with her. I'm sort of avoiding some of my friends here - I don't even have a reason for that, anymore. I feel like I want to be alone, but then I miss all the bantering, chai/dinner sessions. I wish I could go to the gym more often but I'm just unable to. I'm still not sure if I want to go away for spring break or not - even though I already have my tickets booked.

I just feel like I'm disappointing myself in some way. I know, in which way. And it's like I'm not myself anymore. Or I just don't know myself anymore. Part of me says that the change was inevitable. The other part just says who gives a f*** even if you've changed.....

I don't like myself right now.